LOT 1. 
FIRST LORD OF THE TREASURY,
at present in possession of Lord Melbourne.  This will be found a most
eligible investment, as it embraces a considerable extent of female
patronage, comprising the appointments of those valuable legislative
adjuncts,
THE LADIES OF THE BEDCHAMBER,
AND THE ROYAL NURSES, WET AND DRY;
together with those household desiderata,
COALS AND CANDLES,
and an unlimited
RUN OF THE ROYAL KITCHEN.

            LOT 2. 
    SECRETARY OF STATE FOR THE COLONIAL DEPARTMENT,
  at present occupied by Lord John Russell.  This lot must possess
  considerable attraction for a gastronomical experimentalist, as its
  present proprietor has for a long time been engaged in the discovery
  of how few pinches of oatmeal and spoonsful of gruel are sufficient
  for a human pauper, and will be happy to transfer his data to the
  next fortunate proprietor.  Any gentleman desirous of embarking in the
  manufacture of
    SUGAR CANDY, MATCHES, OR CHEAP BREAD,
  would find this a desirable investment, more particularly should he
  wish to form either
    A PAROCHIAL OR MATRIMONIAL UNION,
  as there are plans for the one, and hints for the other, which will
  be thrown into the bargain, being of no further use to the present
  noble incumbent.

            LOT 3. 
    SECRETARY OF STATE FOR THE HOME DEPARTMENT,
  at present the property of Lord Normanby.  Is admirably calculated for
  any one of a literary turn of mind, offering resources peculiarly
  adapted for a proper cultivation of the Jack Sheppard and James
  Hatfield “men-of-elegant-crimes” school of novel-writing—­the
  archives of Newgate and Horsemonger-lane being open at all times to
  the inspection of the favoured purchaser. 
        “YES” OR “NO”
  will determine the sale of this desirable lot in a few days.

            LOT 4. 
    SECRETARY OF STATE FOR FOREIGN AFFAIRS,
  now in the occupancy of Lord Palmerston.  Possesses advantages rarely
  to be met with.  From its connexion with the continental powers, Eau
  de Cologne, bear’s grease, and cosmetics of unrivalled excellence,
  can be procured at all times, thus insuring the favour of the divine
  sex,

“From the rich peasant-cheek of bronze,
And large black eyes that flash on you a volley
Of rays, that say a thousand things at once,
To the high dama’s brow more melancholy.”

The only requisite (besides money) for this desirable lot is, that
the purchaser must write a bold round hand for
PROTOCOLS,
understand French and Chinese, and be an
EXPERT TURNER.

            LOT 5. 
    SEVERAL UNDER SECRETARYSHIPS,
  admirably adapted for younger sons and poor relatives.

The whole of the proceeds (by the advice of her Majesty’s Cabinet
Council) will be devoted to the erection of a
UNION FOR DECAYED MINISTERS.