* * * * *

OMINOUS.

LORD PALMERSTON, on his road to Windsor, narrowly escaped being upset by a gentleman in a gig.  We have been privately informed that the party with whom he came in collision was—­Sir Robert Peel.

* * * * *

CROSS READINGS.

          (REC.)
        If you ever should be
        In a state of ennui,
        Just listen to me,
        And without any fee
    I’ll give you a hint how to set yourself free. 
    Though dearth of intelligence weaken the news,
    And you feel an incipient attack of the blues,
    For amusement you never need be at a loss,
    If you take up the paper and read it across. 
        (INTER ARIA DEMI LOQUI.)
        Here’s the Times, apropos,
          And so,
        With your patience, I’ll show
    What I mean, by perusing a passage or two. 
          (ARIA.)
  “Hem!  Mr. George Robins is anxious to tell,
  In very plain prose, he’s instructed to sell”—­
  “A vote for the county”—­“packed neatly in straw”—­
  “Set by Holloway’s Ointment”—­“a limb of the law.” 
  “The army has had secret orders to seize”—­
  “As soon as they can”—­“the industrious fleas.” 
    For amusement you never need be at a loss,
    If you take a newspaper and read it across.

  “The opera opens with”—­“elegant coats”—­
  “For silver and gold we exchange foreign notes”—­
  “Specific to soften mortality’s ills”—­
  “And cure Yorkshire bacon”—­“take Morison’s pills.” 
  “Curious coincidence”—­“steam to Gravesend.” 
  “Tale of deep interest”—­“money to lend”—­
  “Louisa is waiting for William to send.” 
    For amusement you never need be at a loss,
    If you take a newspaper and read it across.

  “For relief of the Poles”—­“an astounding feat!”—­
  “A respectable man”—­“for a water will eat”—­
  “The Macadamised portion of Parliament-street.” 
  “Mysterious occurrence!”—­“expected incog.” 
  “To be viewed by cards only”—­“a terrible fog.” 
  “At eight in the morning the steam carriage starts”—­
  “Takes passengers now”—­“to be finished in parts.” 
    For amusement you never need be at a loss,
    If you take a newspaper and read it across.

  “Left in a cab, and”—­“the number not known”
  “A famous prize ox, weighing 200 stone”—­
  “He speaks with a lisp”—­“has a delicate shape”—­
  “And had on, when he quitted, a Macintosh cape.” 
  “For China direct, a fine”—­“dealer in slops.” 
  “To the curious in shaving”—­“new way to dress chops.” 
  “Repeal of the corn”—­“was roasted for lunch”—­
  “Teetotal beverage “—­“Triumph of PUNCH!”
    For amusement you never need be at a loss,
    If you take a newspaper and read it across.