* * * * *

EPIGRAM ON SEEING AN EXECUTION.

  One morn, two friends before the Newgate drop,
  To see a culprit throttled, chanced to stop: 
  “Alas!” cried one as round in air he spun,
  “That miserable wretch’s race is run.” 
  “True,” said the other drily, “to his cost,
  The race is run—­but, by a neck ’tis lost.”

* * * * *

FASHIONABLE ARRIVALS.

Lord John Russell has arrived at a conviction—­that the Whigs are not so popular as they were.

Sir Peter Laurie has arrived at the conclusion—­that Solon was a greater man than himself.

* * * * *

THE POET FOILED.

  To win the maid the poet tries,
  And sonnets writes to Julia’s eyes;—­
  She likes a verse—­but cruel whim,
  She still appears a-verse to him.

* * * * *

A most cruel hoax has recently been played off upon that deserving class the housemaids of London, by the insertion of an advertisement in the morning papers, announcing that a servant in the above capacity was wanted by Lord Melbourne.  Had it been for a cook, the absurdity would have been too palpable, as Melbourne has frequently expressed his opposition to sinecures.

* * * * *

ECCLESIASTICAL TRANSPORTATION.

  Now B—­y P—­l has beat the Whigs,
    The Church can’t understand
  Why Bot’ny Bay should be all sea,
    And have no see on land.

  For such a lamentable want
    Our good Archbishop grieves;
  ’Tis very strange the Tories should
    Remind him of the thieves!

* * * * *

EPIGRAM.

An American paper tells us of a woman named Dobbs, who was killed in a preaching-house at Nashville, by the fall of a chandelier on her head.  Brett’s Patent Brandy poet, who would as soon make a witticism on a cracked crown as a cracked bottle, has sent us the following:—­

  “The light of life comes from above,”
  Old Dingdrum snuffling said;
  “The light came down on Peggy Dobbs,
  And Peggy Dobbs was dead.”

* * * * *

A man in Kentucky was so absent, that he put himself on the toasting-fork, and did not discover his mistake until he was done brown.

* * * * *

CONSISTENCY.

  No wonder Tory landlords flout
    “Fix’d Duty,” for ’tis plain,
  With them the Anti-Corn-Law Bill
    Must go against the grain.

* * * * *