to “avoid useless repetition,” hence that polish is the Alpha and Omega of their shining days.  Their term of servitude varies from three to six weeks:  during the first they are fastened to the topmost of their ten holes; the next fortnight, owing to the breaking of the lace, and its frequent knotting, they are shorn of half their glories, and upon the total destruction of the thong (a thing never replaced), it appears a matter of courtesy on their parts to remain on at all.  On some occasions various of their wearers have transferred them as a legacy to very considerable mobs, without particularly stating for which especial individual they were intended.  This kicking off their shoes “because they wouldn’t die in them,” has generally proved but a sorry method of lengthening existence.

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HESSIANS,

are little more than ambitious Wellingtons, curved at the top—­wrinkled at the bottom (showing symptoms of superannuation even in their infancy), and betasselled in the front, offering what a Wellington never did—­a weak point for an enemy to seize and shake at his pleasure.

There’s no “speculation” in them—­they are entirely superficial:  like a shallow fellow, you at once see through, and know all about them.  There is no mystery as to the height they reach, how far they are polished, or the description of leg they cling round.  Save Count D’Oraay, we never saw a calf in a pair of them—­that is, we never saw a leg with a calf.  Their general tenants are speculative Jew clothesmen who have bought them “vorth the monish” (at tenth hand), seedy chamber counsel, or still more seedy collectors of rents.  They are fast falling into decay; like dogs, they have had their “Day (and Martin’s”) Acts, but both are past.  But woh! ho!

[Illustration]

TOPS!  TOPS!!  TOPS!!!

Derby!—­Epsom!—­Ledger!—­Spring Summer, Autumn Meetings—­Miles, Half-miles—­T.Y.C.—­Hurdles, Heats, names, weights, colours of the riders—­jockies, jackets,—­Dead Heats—­sweats—­distances—­trainings—­scales—­caps, and all—­what would you be without Top Boots?  What! and echo answers—­nothing!

Ay, worse than nothing—­a chancery suit without money—­an Old Bailey culprit without an alibi—­a debtor without an excuse—­a new play without a titled author—­a manager without impudence—­a thief without a character—­a lawyer without a wig—­or a Guy Faux without matches!

Tops, you must be “made to measure.”  Wellingtons, Hessians, Bluchers, Ankle-Jacks, and Highlows, can be chosen from, fitted, and tried on; but you must be measured for, lasted, back-strapped, top’d, wrinkled and bottomed, according to order.