Uninvited M. I suppose the whole thing was done for an advertisement—?

Algy. Possibly.  Anyhow, once bitten, twice shy.  They won’t get me inside their stuccoed palace again.

Chorus of Those who were at the Party. Same here! [Pause.

Capt.  O. (lighting cigar by candle).  By the way, JACK, did old CRAM. ask you to Scotland for the 12th?

Jack. Yes.

Capt.  O. So he did me.  Shall you go?

Jack. It depends—­I think so—­if I don’t get anything better.  I’m told it’s a wonderful shoot.  They pulled down over a thousand birds the first day, last year.

Capt.  O. Does old CRAMMERLY shoot?

Jack. Oh dear no!  He’s as blind as a bat.  He only rents it for his friends.

Capt.  O. (greatly relieved).  That’s good news, for he’s a terrible bore.  He’d be a shocking nuisance on the Moors.  I must say, I can’t stand him at any price.

Jack. No, nor any of the family, for the matter of that.  Well, ta, ta!  Perhaps we shall meet there.  I’m off to the Empire, to join some friends who’ve got a box.

    [Exit to enjoy further hospitality.

* * * * *

“PERFIDIOUS ALBION” AGAIN.—­Lieutenant MIZON, with his grievances against the British Niger Company, was feted last week in Paris.  To inform Frenchmen that the British Company in question is not so niger as it has been painted would be useless at the present moment, when Frenchmen are still loud in their applause of the speech made by the Prefect of the Seine in such a Mizon-scene. [N.B.—­Jeu de mot forwarded by our own “Prefect of the In-Seine.”]

* * * * *

FROM NEWCASTLE.—­Mr. HAMOND, M.P. for Newcastle, charged Mr. JOHN MORLEY with having made a certain statement.  Mr. MORLEY denied it, and asked Mr. HAMOND to substantiate the charge.  Mr. HAMOND could not do this, nor did he apologise.  Is this the “’Amond honorable”?

* * * * *

[Illustration:  SIR CARLOS EUAN-SMITHEZ; OR, THE INSULTING SULTAN AND THE HIGH-TONED CHRISTIAN KNIGHT.

A MODERN MOORISH BALLAD, AFTER THE FASHION OF BON GAULTIER.]

  Brave Sir CARLOS EUAN-SMITHEZ! basely have they borne thee down;
  Thousands, thirty, would they tip thee as a churl they’d tip a
          crown? 
  Thou at home hadst shown that Sultan with emphatic toe the door;
  In Morocco thou didst coolly turn thy back upon the Moor.

  Long in fiery Fez he lingered, subtle SMITHEZ, being bound
  To contract Commercial Treaty with the minions of MAHOUND. 
  Full eight weeks’ negociations smoothed that Treaty’s parlous way;
  On the fifth July the Sultan swore it should be signed next day.