First Footman (loftily).  I don’t know anything about your father, I’m sure.  Better go down the airey-steps and inquire there.

Mr. G. (annoyed with himself.) It’s my mistake.  I didn’t see yer were on’y flunkeys at first.  It’s yer Guv’nor I want—­the ole man!

First Footman (with cold dignity).  If you are illewding to Sir NORMAN, he is not at home.

Mr. G. (indignantly).  ’Ow can yer tell me sech a falsehood, when I can see him myself, a-dodgin’ about down there in the passage! (Forces his way past the astonished men into the hall, and addresses a stately Butler in plain clothes.) ’Ere, Sir NASEBY, I’ve come in to ’ave a little tork with you on the quiet like.

The Butler (not displeased).  I don’t happen to be Sir NORMAN himself, my good man.  Sir NORMAN is out.

Mr. G. Out, is he? that’s a pity!  I wanted to see him on important business.  But look ’ere—­p’raps his Missus is in—­She’ll do! (To himself.) I gen’ally git along with the wimmin-folk—­some ’ow!

The Butler. I can’t say if her Ladyship is at home.  If you like to send up your name, I’ll inquire.

Mr. G. You tell her Mr. BENJAMIN GULCHER is ’ere, if she’ll step down a minnit.  She needn’t ’urry, yer know, if she’s ’aving her dinner or cleanin’ herself. (To himself, as the Butler departs noiselessly.) Civil-spoken party that—­one o’ the lodgers, seemin’ly.  Roomy sort o’ crib this ’ere.  Wonder what they pay a week for it!

Butler (returning).  Her Ladyship will see you, if you will step this way.

    [Mr. G. is taken up a staircase, and ushered into
    the presence of Lady NASEBY, who is seated at her
    writing-table.

Lady N. (still writing).  One moment, please.  My husband is out just now—­but if you will kindly state the nature of your business with him, I daresay I could—­(She looks up.) Good Heavens!  What could have possessed CLARKSON to show such a person as that in here! (To herself.)

Mr. G. (in his most ingratiating manner).  Well, Mum, in the absence of his Lordship, I am sure you’ll prove a ’ighly agreerble substitoot!

Lady N. (freezingly).  May I ask you to tell me—­in two words—­what it is you wish to see him about.

Mr. G. Certingly you may, Mum!  It’s like this ’ere.  I want your good Gentleman to promise me his vote and influence for Mr. JOE QUELCH, as we’re runnin’ for a Labour Candidate this Election.

Lady N. I really cannot answer for my husband’s views on political matters, Mr.—­a—­SQUELCHER; I make it a rule never to interfere.