“Superintendent or secretary,” suggested Sarah Brown moodily.

“Superintendent, I think,” said the witch.  “At least I know Peony calls me Soup.  Do you live alone?”

“Yes.”

“Then you ought to live here.  This is the only place in the world of its kind.  The name of this house is Living Alone.  I’ll read you the prospectus.”

She fell suddenly upon her knees and began fighting with a drawer.  The drawer was evidently one of the many descendants of the Sword Excalibur—­none but the appointed hand could draw it forth.  The witch, after a struggle, passed this test, and produced a parchment covered with large childish printing in red ink.

“My employer made up this,” said the witch.  “And the ferryman wrote it out for us.”

This is the prospectus: 

     The name of this house is Living Alone.

It is meant to provide for the needs of those who dislike hotels, clubs, settlements, hostels, boarding-houses, and lodgings only less than their own homes; who detest landladies, waiters, husbands and wives, charwomen, and all forms of lookers after.  This house is a monastery and a convent for monks and nuns dedicated to unknown gods.  Men and women who are tired of being laboriously kind to their bodies, who like to be a little uncomfortable and quite uncared for, who love to live from week to week without speaking, except to confide their destinations to ’bus-conductors, who are weary of woolly decorations, aspidistras, and the eternal two generations of roses which riot among blue ribbons on hireling wall-papers, who are ignorant of the science of tipping and thanking, who do not know how to cook yet hate to be cooked for, will here find the thing they have desired, and something else as well.

There are six cells in this house, and no common sitting-room.  Guests wishing to address each other must do so on the stairs, or in the shop.  Each cell has whitewashed walls, and contains a small deal table, one wooden chair, a hard bed, a tin bath, and a little inconvenient fireplace.  No guest may bring into the house more than can be carried out again in one large suit-case.  Carpets, rugs, mirrors, and any single garment costing more than three guineas, are prohibited.  Any guest proved to have made use of a taxi, or to have travelled anywhere first class, or to have bought cigarettes or sweets costing more than three shillings a hundred or eighteenpence a pound respectively, or to have paid more than three and sixpence (war-tax included) for a seat in any place of entertainment, will be instantly expelled.  Dogs, cats, goldfish, and other superhuman companions are encouraged.

Working guests are preferred, but if not at work, guests must spend at least eighteen hours out of the twenty-four entirely alone.  No guest may entertain or be entertained except under special license obtainable from the Superintendent.