The masturbator first suffers from the knowledge he is indulging in a pleasure he knows would be forbidden, and from fear of being found out; later he learns from friends, quack advertisements, or well-meaning books that self-abuse is a most deadly practice, and thereupon a tremendous struggle occurs between desire and fear, each act ending in an agony of remorse and dread of future consequences, which struggle does a thousand-fold more harm than the loss of a little semen.
The ill-effects of these mental struggles disappear after marriage, which means greater indulgence, but indulgence free from mental stress. In neuropaths, these mental struggles are the worst things that could occur, for they tend to make permanent the states we are trying to cure.
The most serious results of masturbation are moral not physical. Loss of will-power, self-reliance, presence of mind, reasoning power, memory, courage, idealism, and self-control; mental and physical debility, laziness, a diseased fondness for the opposite sex, and in later years, some degree of impotence or sterility, are its commoner results.
Teach your child, therefore, not from fear of physical harm, but because you wish him to be one of those fortunate few who live and die “gentlemen unafraid”, because they had wise parents.
Let the mother instruct a girl, the father a boy, and not leave so vital a matter to an unsuitable pamphlet.
Buy one of the many “Knowledge for Boys or Girls” books and read it carefully.
Having made sure you can convey a simple account of the wonders of reproduction, and that you have rooted out the idea that sex is something to be apologized for, see the child and tell him it is time he learned of his private parts, as manhood draws near.
Then, speaking in a quiet, unembarrassed way, deliver your little homily, all the time insisting on the marvel, the romance, the poetry and the beauty of the sex. Let chivalry be your text, not fear, and repeat the Squire’s sound parting advice to Tom Brown:
“Never listen to or
say things you would not have your mother or sister
hear.”
Give a clear and complete description in simple words of the mechanism and marvel of reproduction, for half-knowledge generates a prurient curiosity about the other sex, thus defeating the very end you have so earnestly striven for.
Purity not impurity should be your text, and you should only refer to masturbation as a harmful habit, which should not be contracted.
Warn them to
“Keep the heart with
all diligence, for out of it are the issues of
life!”
by turning their thoughts instantly and determinedly away from sex ideas when they arise, as they will arise, time and again. It is useless to try not to think of them, the child must instantly turn its thoughts to to something else, for one who cannot stamp out a spark will not subdue a fiercely-raging conflagration.