“A hundred pounds? 
    Ha! thou hast touched me nearly.”

I will get a parcel copied to-morrow; wrote several letters at night.

January 11.—­Wrote and sent off three of my own pages in the morning, then walked with Swanston.  I tried to write before dinner, but, with drowsiness and pain in my head, made little way.  My friend Will Laidlaw came in to dinner, and after dinner kindly offered his services as amanuensis.  Too happy was I, and I immediately plunged him into the depths of Count Robert, so we got on three or four pages, worth perhaps double the number of print.  I hope it did not take him too short, but after all to keep the press going without an amanuensis is impossible, and the publishers may well pay a sponsible person.  He comes back to-morrow.  It eases many of my anxieties, and I will stick to it.  I really think Mr. Laidlaw is pleased with the engagement for the time.  Sent off six close pages.

January 12.—­I have a visit from Mr. Macdonald the sculptor, who wishes to model a head of me.  He is a gentlemanlike man, and pleasant as most sculptors and artists of reputation are, yet it is an awful tax upon time.  I must manage to dictate while he models, which will do well enough.

So there we sat for three hours or four, I sitting on a stool mounted on a packing-box, for the greater advantage; Macdonald modelling and plastering away, and I dictating, without interval, to good-natured Will Laidlaw, who wrought without intermission.  It is natural to ask, Do I progress? but this is too feverish a question.  A man carries no scales about him to ascertain his own value.  I always remember the prayer of Virgil’s sailor in extremity:—­

    “Non jam prima peto Mnestheus, neque vincere certo;
    Quamquam O!—­Sed superent quibus hoc, Neptune, dedisti! 
    Extremos pudeat rediisse:  hoc vincite, cives,
    Et prohibete nefas!"[414]

We must to our oar; but I think this and another are all that even success would prompt me to write; and surely those that have been my defenders

    “Have they so long held out with me untired,
    And stop they now for breath?  Well, be it so."[415]

January 13.—­Went to Selkirk on the business of the new high road.  I perceive Whytbank and my cousin Colonel Russell of Ashestiel are disposed to peep into the expenses of next year’s outlay, which must be provided by loan.  This will probably breed strife.  Wrote a hint of this to Charles Balfour.  Agreed with Smith so far as contracting for the Bridges at L1200 each.  I suspect we are something like the good manager who distressed herself with buying bargains.

January 15.—­Gave the morning from ten till near two to Mr. Macdonald, who is proceeding admirably with his bust.  It is bloody cold work, but he is an enthusiast and much interested; besides, I can sit and dictate owing to Mr. Laidlaw, and so get forward, while I am advancing Lorenzo di Guasco, which is his travelling name.  I wrote several letters too, and got through some business.  Walked, and took some exercise between one and three.