A circumstance of great consequence to my habits and comforts was my being released from the Court of Session on November 1830 (18th day).  My salary, which was L1300, was reduced to L840.  My friends, just then leaving office, were desirous to patch up the deficiency with a pension.  I do not see well how they could do this without being exposed to obloquy, which they shall not be on my account.  Besides, though L500 a year is a round sum, yet I would rather be independent than I would have it.

My kind friend the Lord Chief Commissioner offered to interfere to have me named a Privy Councillor; but besides that when one is poor he ought to avoid taking rank, I would be much happier if I thought any act of kindness was done to help forward Charles; and, having said so much, I made my bow, and declared my purpose of remaining satisfied with the article of my knighthood.  And here I am, for the rest of my life I suppose, with a competent income, which I can [increase].

All this is rather pleasing, nor have I the least doubt that I could make myself easy by literary labour.  But much of it looks like winding up my bottom for the rest of my life.  But there is a worse symptom of settling accounts, of which I have felt some signs.

Last spring, Miss Young, the daughter of Dr. Young, had occasion to call on me on some business, in which I had hopes of serving her.  As I endeavoured to explain to her what I had to say, I had the horror to find I could not make myself understood.  I stammered, stuttered, said one word in place of another—­did all but speak; Miss Young went away frightened enough, poor thing; and Anne and Violet Lockhart were much alarmed.  I was bled with cupping-glasses, took medicine, and lived on panada; but in two or three days I was well again.  The physicians thought, or said at least, that the evil was from the stomach.  It is very certain that I have seemed to speak with an impediment, and I was, or it might be fancied myself, troubled with a mispronouncing and hesitation.  I felt this particularly at the Election, and sometimes in society.  This went on till last November, when Lord ------ came out to make me a visit.  I had for a long time taken only one tumbler of whisky and water without the slightest reinforcement.  This night I took a very little drop, not so much as a bumper glass, of whisky altogether.  It made no difference on my head that I could discover, but when I went to the dressing-room I sank stupefied on the floor.  I lay a minute or two—­was not found, luckily, gathered myself up, and got to my bed.  I was alarmed at this second warning, consulted Abercrombie and Ross, and got a few restrictive orders as to diet.  I am forced to attend to them; for, as Mrs. Cole says, “Lack-a-day! a thimbleful oversets me.”

To add to these feelings I have the constant increase of my lameness:  the thigh-joint, knee-joint, and ankle-joint.