November 4.—­Put my papers in some order, and prepared for my journey.  It is in the style of the Emperors of Abyssinia who proclaim—­Cut down the Kantuffa in the four quarters of the world,—­for I know not where I am going.  Yet, were it not for poor Anne’s doleful looks, I would feel firm as a piece of granite.  Even the poor dogs seem to fawn on me with anxious meaning, as if there were something going on they could not comprehend.  They probably notice the packing of the clothes, and other symptoms of a journey.

Set off at twelve, firmly resolved in body and in mind.  Dined at Fushie Bridge.  Ah! good Mrs. Wilson, you know not you are like to lose an old customer.[67]

But when I arrived in Edinburgh at my faithful friend, Mr. Gibson’s, lo! the scene had again changed, and a new hare is started.[68]

The trustees were clearly of opinion that the matter should be probed to the very bottom; so Cadell sets off to-morrow in quest of Robinson, whose haunts he knows.  There was much talk concerning what should be done, how to protect my honour’s person, and to postpone commencing a defence which must make Ahab desperate, before we can ascertain that the grounds are really tenable.  This much I think I can see, that the trustees will rather pay the debt than break off the trust and go into a sequestration.  They are clearly right for themselves, and I believe for me also.  Whether it is in human possibility that I can clear off these obligations or not, is very doubtful.  But I would rather have it written on my monument that I died at the desk than live under the recollection of having neglected it.  My conscience is free and happy, and would be so if I were to be lodged in the Calton Jail.  Were I shirking exertion I should lose heart, under a sense of general contempt, and so die like a poisoned rat in a hole.

Dined with Gibson and John Home.  His wife is a pretty lady-like woman.  Slept there at night.

November 6.—­I took possession of No. 6 Shandwick Place, Mrs. Jobson’s house.  Mr. Cadell had taken it for me; terms L100 for four months—­cheap enough, as it is a capital house.  I offered L5 for immediate entrance, as I do not like to fly back to Abbotsford.  So here we are established, i.e. John Nicolson[69] and I, with good fires and all snug.

I waited on L.J.S.; an affecting meeting.[70]

Sir William Forbes came in before dinner to me, high-spirited noble fellow as ever, and true to his friend.  Agrees with my feelings to a comma.  He thinks Cadell’s account must turn up trumps, and is for going the vole.[71]