“Even in our ashes glow their wonted fires.”

On return home I had despatches of consequence.  John Gibson writes that Lord Newton has decided most of the grand questions in our favour.  Good, that!  Rev. Mr. Turner writes that he is desirous, by Lord Londonderry’s consent, to place in my hands a quantity of original papers concerning the public services of the late Lord Londonderry, with a view to drawing up a memoir of his life.  Now this task they desire to transfer to me.  It is highly complimentary; and there is this of temptation in it, that I should be able to do justice to that ill-requited statesman in those material points which demand the eternal gratitude of his country.  But then for me to take this matter up would lead me too much into the hackneyed politics of the House of Commons, which odi et arceo.  Besides, I would have to study the Irish question, and I detest study. Item.—­I might arrive at conclusions different from those of my Lord of Londonderry, and I have a taste for expressing that which I think.  Fourthly, I think it is sinking myself into a party writer.  Moreover, I should not know what to say to the disputes with Canning; and, to conclude, I think my Lord Londonderry, if he desired such a thing at my hands, ought to have written to me.  For all which reasons, good, bad, and indifferent, I will write declining the undertaking.

October 28.—­Wrote several letters, and one to Mr. Turner, declining the task of Lord Castlereagh’s Memoirs,[64] with due acknowledgments.  Had his public and European politics alone been concerned, I would have tried the task with pleasure.  I wrote out my task and something more, corrected proofs, and made a handsome remittance of copy to the press.

October 31.—­Just as I was merrily cutting away among my trees, arrives Mr. Gibson with a melancholy look, and indeed the news he brought was shocking enough.  It seems Mr. Abud, the same Jew broker who formerly was disposed to disturb me in London, has given the most positive orders to take out diligence against me for his debt of L1500.  This breaks all the measures we had resolved on, and prevents the dividend from taking place, by which many poor persons will be great sufferers.  For me the alternative will be more painful to my feelings than prejudicial to my interest.  To take out a sequestration and allow the persons to take what they can get will be the inevitable consequence.  This will cut short my labour by several years, which I might spend and spend in vain in labouring to meet their demands.  No doubt they may in the interim sell the liferent of this place, with the books and furniture.  But, perhaps, it may be possible to achieve some composition which may save these articles, as I would make many sacrifices for that purpose.  Gibson strongly advises taking a sequestration at all events.  But if the creditors choose to let Mr. Abud have his pound of flesh out of the first cut, my mind will not be satisfied with the plan of deranging, for the pleasure of disappointing him, a plan of payment to which all the others had consented.  We will know more on Saturday, and not sooner.  I went to Bowhill with Sir Adam Ferguson to dinner, and maintained as good a countenance in the midst of my perplexities as a man need desire.  It is not bravado; I literally feel myself firm and resolute.