indifferent which but lately were indispensable, my imagination drew a melancholy contrast between the young man entering the world on fire for fame, and restless in imagining means of coming by it, and the aged widower, blase on the point of literary reputation, deprived of the social comforts of a married state, and looking back to regret instead of looking forward to hope.  This brought bad sleep and unpleasing dreams.  But if I cannot hope to be what I have been, I will not, if I can help it, suffer vain repining to make me worse than I may be.

We left Mertoun after breakfast, and the two Annes and I visited Lady Raeburn at Lessudden.  My Aunt is now in her ninetieth year—­so clean, so nice, so well arranged in every respect, that it makes old age lovely.  She talks both of late and former events with perfect possession of her faculties, and has only failed in her limbs.  A great deal of kind feeling has survived, in spite of the frost of years.

Home to dinner, and worked all the afternoon among the Moniteurs—­to little purpose, for my principal acquisition was a headache.  I wrote nothing to-day but part of a trifle for Blackwood.

July 22.—­The same severe headache attends my poor pate.  But I have worked a good deal this morning, and will do more.  I wish to have half the volume sent into town on Monday if possible.  It will be a royal effort, and more than make up for the blanks of this week.

July 23.—­I wrote very hard this day, and attained page 40; 45 would be more than half the volume.  Colonel Russell came about one, and carried me out a-walking, which I was all the better of.  In the evening we expected Terry and his wife, but they did not come, which makes me fear she may be unwell again.

July 24.—­A great number of proof-sheets to revise and send off, and after that I took a fancy to give a more full account of the Constitution framed by Sieyes—­a complicated and ingenious web; it is but far too fine and critical to be practically useful.

July 25.—­Terry and wife arrived yesterday.  Both very well.  At dinner-time to-day came Dr. Jamieson[304] of the Scottish Dictionary, an excellent good man, and full of auld Scottish cracks, which amuse me well enough, but are caviare to the young people.  A little prolix and heavy is the good Doctor; somewhat prosaic, and accustomed to much attention on the Sunday from his congregation, and I hope on the six other days from his family.  So he will demand full attention from all and sundry before he begins a story, and once begun there is no chance of his ending.

July 26.—­This day went to Selkirk, and held a Court.  The Doctor and Terry chose to go with me.  Captain and Mrs. Hamilton came to dinner.  Desperate warm weather!  Little done in the literary way except sending off proofs.  Roup of standing corn, etc., went off very indifferently.  Letter from Ballantyne wanting me to write about absentees.  But I have enough to do without burning my fingers with politics.