June 21—­We followed the same course we proposed.  For a party of pleasure I have attended to business well.  Twenty pages of Croftangry, five printed pages each, attest my diligence, and I have had a delightful variation by the company of the two Annes.  Regulated my little expenses here.

[Edinburgh,] June 22.—­Returned to my Patmos.  Heard good news from Lockhart.  Wife well, and John Hugh better.  He mentions poor Southey testifying much interest for me, even to tears.  It is odd—­am I so hard-hearted a man?  I could not have wept for him, though in distress I would have gone any length to serve him.  I sometimes think I do not deserve people’s good opinion, for certainly my feelings are rather guided by reflection than impulse.  But everybody has his own mode of expressing interest, and mine is stoical even in bitterest grief. Agere atque pati, Romanum est. I hope I am not the worse for wanting the tenderness that I see others possess, and which is so amiable.  I think it does not cool my wish to be of use where I can.  But the truth is, I am better at enduring or acting than at consoling.  From childhood’s earliest hour my heart rebelled against the influence of external circumstances in myself and others. Non est tanti!

To-day I was detained in the Court from half-past ten till near four; yet I finished and sent off a packet to Cadell, which will finish one-third of the Chronicles, vol. 1st.

Henry Scott came in while I was at dinner, and sat while I ate my beef-steak.  A gourmand would think me much at a loss, coming back to my ploughman’s meal of boiled beef and Scotch broth, from the rather recherche table at Abbotsford, but I have no philosophy in my carelessness on that score.  It is natural—­though I am no ascetic, as my father was.

June 23.—­The heat tremendous, and the drought threatening the hay and barley crop.  Got from the Court at half-twelve, and walked to the extremity of Heriot Row to see poor Lady Don; left my card as she does not receive any one.  I am glad this painful meeting is adjourned.  I received to-day L10 from Blackwood for the article on The Omen.  Time was I would not have taken these small tithes of mint and cummin, but scornful dogs will eat dirty puddings, and I, with many depending on me, must do the best I can with my time—­God help me!

[Blair-Adam,] June 24.—­Left Edinburgh yesterday after the Court, half-past twelve, and came over here with the Lord Chief-Baron and William Clerk, to spend as usual a day or two at Blair-Adam.  In general, this is a very gay affair.  We hire a light coach-and-four, and scour the country in every direction in quest of objects of curiosity.  But the Lord Chief-Commissioner’s family misfortunes and my own make our holiday this year of a more quiet description than usual, and a sensible degree of melancholy hangs on the reunion of our party.  It was wise, however, not to omit it, for to slacken your hold on life in any agreeable point of connection is the sooner to reduce yourself to the indifference and passive vegetation of old age.