June 7.—­Again a day of hard work, only at half-past eight I went to the Dean of Faculty’s to a consultation about Constable,[280] and met with said Dean and Mr. [J.S.] More and J. Gibson.  I find they have as high hope of success as lawyers ought to express; and I think I know how our profession speak when sincere.  I cannot interest myself deeply in it.  When I had come home from such a business, I used to carry the news to poor Charlotte, who dressed her face in sadness or mirth as she saw the news affect me; this hangs lightly about me.  I had almost forgot the appointment, if J.G. had not sent me a card, I passed a piper in the street as I went to the Dean’s and could not help giving him a shilling to play Pibroch a Donuil Dhu for luck’s sake—­what a child I am!

June 8.—­Bilious and headache this morning.  A dog howl’d all night and left me little sleep.  Poor cur!  I dare say he had his distresses, as I have mine.  I was obliged to make Dalgleish shut the windows when he appeared at half-past six, as usual, and did not rise till nine, when me voici.  I have often deserved a headache in my younger days without having one, and Nature is, I suppose, paying off old scores.  Ay, but then the want of the affectionate care that used to be ready, with lowered voice and stealthy pace, to smooth the pillow—­and offer condolence and assistance,—­gone—­gone—­for ever—­ever—­ever.  Well, there is another world, and we’ll meet free from the mortal sorrows and frailties which beset us here.  Amen, so be it.  Let me change the topic with hand and head, and the heart must follow.

I think that sitting so many days and working so hard may have brought on this headache.  I must inflict a walk on myself to-day.  Strange that what is my delight in the country is here a sort of penance!  Well, but now I think on it, I will go to the Chief-Baron and try to get his Lordship’s opinion about the question with Constable; if I carry it, as there is, I trust, much hope I shall, Mr. Gibson says there will be funds to divide 6s. in the pound, without counting upon getting anything from Constable or Hurst, but sheer hard cash of my own.  Such another pull is possible, especially if Boney succeeds, and the rogue had a knack at success.  Such another, I say, and we touch ground I believe, for surely Constable, Robinson, etc., must pay something; the struggle is worth waring[281] a headache upon.

I finished five pages to-day, headache, laziness, and all.

June 9.—­Corrected a stubborn proof this morning.  These battles have been the death of many a man—­I think they will be mine.  Well but it clears to windward; so we will fag on.