***

A ten-months-old boy at Prescot, Lancashire, has been called up for military service.  It is, however, authoritatively stated that this is merely a precautionary measure on the part of the War Office, and will not necessarily apply to other men in the same class.

***

A Bromley gentleman is advertising for a chauffeur “to drive Ford car out of cab-yard.”  Kindness is a great thing in cases of this sort, and we suggest trying to entice it out with a piece of cheese.

***

“You have lost the privilege of serving on the last grand jury during the War,” said the judge at the London Sessions last week to a shipowner who arrived at the court late.  We understand that the poor fellow broke down and sobbed bitterly.

***

Nearly every Russian newspaper contains congratulatory references to Free Russia, and poets are busy composing verses on the same theme.  It is this latter item which is said to be keeping the Germans from having a similar revolution.

***

We understand that the new “No Smoking near Magazines” enactment is profoundly resented in editorial circles.

***

To fill the gap which will be left in the ranks of Parliamentary humorists by the retirement of Mr. Joseph King, M.P., who has decided not to seek re-election, the Variety Artistes Federation have nominated a candidate for the Brixton Division.

***

“On whatever day you sow your wheat,” says Miss Marie Corelli, “you cannot stop its growing on Sundays.”  Mr. Hall Caine has not yet spoken on this point, and his silence is regarded as significant.

***

Incidentally we are not so sure that you cannot stop wheat growing on Sundays.  There is good precedent for plucking its ears on the Sabbath, and that ought to stop it.

***

The Kaiser, it appears, is much annoyed at the Crown Prince and the way he has mis-managed so many brilliant opportunities.  It is even suggested in some quarters that the Kaiser has threatened, if little Willie does not improve, to abdicate in his favour.

***

A respectably dressed man was recently arrested for behaving in a strange manner in Downing Street.  Others have done the same thing before now, but have escaped the notice of the police by doing it indoors.

***

With reference to the taxi-cab which stopped in the Strand the other day when hailed by a pedestrian, a satisfactory explanation is to hand.  It had broken down.

* * * * *

[Illustration:  Overheard by a distinguished singer, who has just concluded the first of two Scotch ballads.

Jock (to his neighbour). “A fine voice, Yon lassie.  I’ve heard worse an’ paid for it.”]