ever seen; and we gets two buckets of water, one very near full, and the other about a quarter full, and we soon ’as ’em both on the boil.  Then we makes the poultice in the drop of water; and when ’e was ready, we gets the grid and puts it across the top of the other bucket, and lays the poultice on the grid, and me and the mate picks up the full bucket with two pair o’ tongs, ’olding a torch under ’er to keep ’er at the boil.

When the old man saw us ’is face twisted a bit!  But talk about cold!  We slapped the poultice on to ‘im, and, if you’ll believe me, inside o’ ninety seconds the thing ’ad froze ’ard on ’im, and formed a splint, and—­saved ’is life, blarst ’im!

* * * * *

[Illustration:  SOME CATCH:  THE ANGLER’S DREAM.]

[Illustration:  SOME CATCH:  THE ANGLER’S DREAM.]

* * * * *

[Illustration:  Lieutenant ——­, R.N., to Lieutenant ——­, R.N. (they are paying one of those periodical visits to a lonely island in the South Pacific). “THESE WRETCHED ISLANDERS, CUT OFF AS THEY ARE FROM ALL THE WORLD, ARE, I SUPPOSE, HARDLY CIVILISED.”

First Wretched Islander to Second Wretched Islander. “DOES THIS VISIT INTRIGUE YOU?”]

* * * * *

[Illustration:  “AND THE LAST THING MY MISSUS SAID TO ME WAS, ’BRING US ’OME SOME SORT OF AN OLD CURIOSITY FROM FURREN PARTS.’”]

* * * * *

[Illustration:  Fond Teuton Parent (to super-tar home on leave). “AND YOU LIKE YOUR SHIP, FRITZ?”

Fritz. “I LOVE HER!  SHE’S A WONDER!  SUCH SPEED!  WHENEVER WE RACE BACK TO PORT SHE’S BEEN FIRST EVERY TIME.”]

* * * * *

[Illustration:  Karl. “WHAT WORRIES ME IS THE FACT THAT WE WANT MORE MEN FOR THE NAVY.  WHAT I SHOULD LIKE TO KNOW IS, WHERE ARE THEY TO COME FROM?”

Gretchen. “BE CALM, KARL.  DOUBTLESS OUR GLORIOUS PROFESSORS OF CHEMISTRY WILL INVENT A SUBSTITUTE.”]

* * * * *

[Illustration:  THE INFECTIOUS HORNPIPE.]

* * * * *

[Illustration:  THE BREATH OF LIBERTY.

THE GERMAN AUTOCRAT.  “THEY MAY FIND THIS WIND VERY BRACING IN RUSSIA BUT IT
MAKES ME FEEL EXTREMELY UNCOMFORTABLE.”]

* * * * *

ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.

Monday, March 19th.—­Captain BATHURST announced that the FOOD CONTROLLER would issue an order fixing the retail price of swedes at a figure involving a reduction of “something like 200 per cent.”  The FOOD CONTROLLER, as his faithful henchman subsequently remarked, “is always doing his best,” but if he can really reduce the price of a commodity to 100 per cent. less than nothing I hope he will not confine his activity to a solitary vegetable.