I resolved to be like little Ezra as near as I could.  When I was a child I fought against my selfish nature.  I would often give away my doll clothes and other things that I wanted to keep myself.  Some of the strongest characteristics of my life were awakened in my childhood.  I would often blush with shame, when committing sins, and I had a great fear of the judgement day; it would terrify me when hearing of Jesus coming to the earth.  I would often ask myself:  “Where can I hide?” If the public knew of the smashing God gave me the strength to do in my heart, they would not wonder at my courage in smashing the murder-shops of our land.  “He that ruleth his own spirit, is greater than he that taketh a city.”

In 1855, we moved to Missouri, just a year before the trouble broke out between Kansas and Missouri.  Missouri determined to make Kansas a slave state; but Kansas said she would not have a slave upon her soil.  Squads of men in Missouri would often go into Kansas and commit depredations.  At one time they burned Lawrence, Kansas, and killed many people.  This trouble continued to grow worse until it brought on the great Civil War.

When we moved from Kentucky to Missouri, I took a severe cold on the boat, which made me an invalid for years.  I was not a truthful child, neither was I honest.  My mother was very strict with me in many ways and I would often tell her lies to avoid restraint or punishment.  If there was anything I wanted about the house, especially something to eat, I would steal it, if I could.  The colored servants would often ask me to steal things for them.  My nurse Betsy, would say:  “Carry get me a cup of sugar, butter, thread or needles,” and many other things.  This would make me sly and dishonest.  I used to go and see my aunts and stay for months.  I would open their boxes and bureau drawers and steal ribbons and laces and make doll clothes out of them.  I would steal perfumery and would run out of the room to prevent them from smelling it.  I am telling this for a purpose.  Many little children may be doing what I did, not thinking of what a serious thing it is, and I write this to show them how I was cured of dishonesty:  I got a little book at Sunday school and it told the way people became thieves, by beginning to take little things naming them, and some of these were the very things I had been taking.  I was greatly shocked to see myself a thief; it had never occurred to me that I was as bad as that.  I thought one had to steal something of great value to be a thief.  My repentance was sincere, and I was made honest by this blessed book, so much so that even after I became grown, if any article was left in my house I would give it away, unless I could find the owner.  I was perfectly delighted when I was entirely free.  I asked for everything I wanted, even a pin.  After that, I could show my doll clothes, and it was not necessary for me to be sly or tell stories any more.  It was about this time I was converted.