“When he reaches his destination,
     Finds ’tis not a dream or hoax,
     And the Judge deals out his sentence,

     Then I’ll wager that he smokes;
     Oh, he’ll care then whom he has vexed,
     And their mercy he’ll invoke;
     But although he squirms and fidgets,
     They’ll just let him smoke and smoke and smoke.”

CHAPTER XXI.

TRIP ON FALL RIVER STEAMBOAT, FROM BOSTON TO NEW YORK—­OFFICERS TRIED TO LOCK ME IN MY STATE ROOM—­SEQUEL SATISFACTORY, MADE PLEASANT TRIP AND MANY FRIENDS.

In the summer of 1903 I took a Fall River boat from Boston to New York.  These boats are said to be the finest in the world.  There was quite a commotion among the several hundred passengers when I went aboard, and the door was blocked in the women’s cabin to get a look at the Crazy Smasher from Kansas.

Men were smoking pipes, cigars and cigarettes.  I said:  “Men, get away from the door with your smoke, you make me sick.”  They paid no attention to me.  I went to the clerk and complained of being compelled to submit to the outrage of being subject to the poisonous fumes, in such a manner as to attract the attention of all to the matter.  The Clerk told me to be quiet and sit down.  I said, “I will, if I have a decent place to stay, why do you not have these men get away from the door?” But they were men, we were only women and children.  Oh, the outrage on poor mothers in delicate condition, to be subject to such treatment by selfish, dirty men.  I believe every one who smokes in a public place should be fined.  If men will smoke or commit nuisance, let it be where others are not injured.  I have no right to bring a skunk into any public place.  People should be taught that others have the right to object to anything done that is wrong.

While I was still persisting in my request to the men to leave the door, I was shown my state room; to which there were two doors, one leading from the corridor and the other opening out next the water.  The captain, accompanied by the First and Second mate appeared at the former, saying.  “Madam, you are to keep your room this evening.”  I replied, while eating a sandwich, “I do not feel like this, and neither will I.”  Said he, “I will see that you do” at the same time telling the officers to lock the doors.  I said:  “You can lock the doors to restrain me of my liberty, but having paid my fare for the service of this company, I will tie up this boat, when we reach New York, and you will learn that I can turn a lock as well as yourself.”  I saw his countenance change.  Mr. Furlong, my manager, who was on the boat, and almost shaking with fear, began to make excuse for me, etc, etc, but I said, “Never mind, Mr. Furlong, I can attend to this little captain and myself too.”  He said no more.  The three men walked out of the corridor, shutting the door after them, but did not lock it,