can hear or drink deadly poisons, or doctrines but
they will not kill our soul. “These signs
shall follow them that believe. The real Christ
life is and always will be hateful to the world.
I have often heard it said of me; “I cannot
bear that Carry Nation!” I would only to do
the people good. I do not blame these as I once
did; “For the natural man is not subject to
the law of God, neither indeed can be.”
“Marvel not that the world hate you, ye know
that it hated me before it hated you.”
I know that when I was ten years old I felt the movings
of God’s spirit—got an answer of
peace, but like a little infant pined away, for lack
of care and nourishment. Nothing but the divine
mercy of Almighty God could have directed the affairs
of my tempest-tossed life. I now know there are
no accidents. A sparrow falls by a special providence.
There are no sins or temptations that I can not say:
“My God delivered, saved and forgave me for
that.” I go to prisons and all kinds of
houses of sin. I say: “I can tell you
of one who can save and forgive you for that, he forgave
me, and he will forgive you, for I was as bad, or
worse, than you.” I have never seen anyone
whom I thought had committed more sin than I. Many
will lift up horrified hands at this but ’tis
true. I never saw the corruption of but one life,
one heart,—that was mine. I was never
so shocked, so disgusted, so distracted with remorse
over any life, so much as my own. My heart was
the foulest place I ever saw. I do not know what
is in other people’s hearts. Paul meant
this when he said: “Christ Jesus came into
the world to save sinners of whom I am chief;”
Said, this, “is worthy of all acceptation”
or was, a good testimony. Because one can never
see how bad the heart is, until God sheds the light
to see it. So many people are deceived, as a
blind man. They may be in filth, and do not know
it. It is there, but not seen, for lack of light.
I was first condemned by reading the Psalms.
I said: “If Christians have impulses to
“rejoice”, clap their hands, and “shout”,
I do not know what it is. I find no response
of gladness in my heart.” I trembled with
fear to think of God and the judgement day. This
continued from youth up to the age of forty.
At this time I received from Christ the “Gift
of the Holy Ghost”, the “Unction”,
that which “leads unto all truth.”
There are many names for this; I call it the Bible
name. “Hold fast the form of sound words.”
Before this I had never spoken a word for God or prayed
in public. At one time I was called on to do so,
and was terrified and mumbled out something, that
was no prayer. Now all was changed: “I
was glad when they said unto me, let us go into the
house of the Lord.” I was anxious for my
time to come to tell how good Jesus was to me.
When I met my neighbors I would be heavy-hearted,
because they talked of servants, house cleaning, the
new fashions, and these seemed so vain, so frivolous.
I liked to direct their minds to speak of the Scriptures,