Second Doork. (interested).  Ah, and ’ow was he?

First Doork. Oh, same as usual—­boozed.  Told me he’d come up from Glasgow for a week’s spree—­and he seems to be ’aving it, too.  Going ’ome Saturday, so he sez.

Second Doork. (grimly).  He’ll be lucky if he gets there Saturday fortnight!

[Illustration:  IN HIS CLUTCHES.

“WHAT A DAY OI’M HAVIN’!  BEGORRA, OI’VE GOT ’EM BOILIN’ ON BOTH SOIDES AV THE ATLANTIC AT THE SAME TOIME!”]

Murmurs (from the lucky Peris who can just see the witness-box through the glass panel).  Who’s that in the box?  That’s Colonel ARKASS—­finishing his cross-examination....  Doesn’t seem to be enjoying himself....  See how he’s tugging at his moustache....  Got a nasty one just then, I expect....  I’d as soon believe ’im as I would ’er—­now....  She ain’t been in the box yet....  No, but she’s a reg’lar bad lot, from what was said in the opening speech.  They won’t change my opinion of ’er, whichever way the case goes!  Well, I ’aven’t followed it closely myself....  Oh, no more have I—­but still I’ve made up my mind long ago about it, (&c., &c.)

The I.S. (suddenly returning, indignant).  I say, they’re letting in all sorts of people—­barristers, and so on—­at that other door!

Doork. Can’t ’elp that, Sir; this ain’t the other door—­you should speak to them about it!

The I.S. (naively).  Well, I have—­and they told me to come here!

    [General snigger, amidst which he departs in disgust.

A Small Office-Boy (with a strip of paper, tied with red tape).  Kin I see Sir HALFRID ALLABYE a moment?

Doork. Sir ALFRED ain’t in this Court—­he’s engaged in another case.

The O.B. ’Is Clurk’ll do—­it’s ’ighly important—­you better lemme in, I tell yer!

Doork. Send in a message for yer, if that’ll do. (The O.B. says it doesn’t signify, and bolts.) Young Artful! thinks he’ll sneak in, and spend his dinner-hour there—­but he don’t!

The M.M. (who has been examining his card under a gaslight).  I say, I’ve just found out that it wasn’t “Please wait” that Mr. TANFIELD wrote on my card—­it’s “Please Admit!”

    [A general titter of incredulity.

First W.W. (to Second W.W.).  Ingenious—­but a trifle transparent that, eh?

    [His friend smiles knowingly.

The M.M. (roused).  Do you mean to suggest that I—­

    [He chokes.

First W.W. Oh, not at all—­I was speaking to my friend here.  But you really must allow that, if any preference is shown at all, it should be given—­equitably, and of right—­to Members of the Bar!