Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 102, February 13, 1892 eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 27 pages of information about Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 102, February 13, 1892.

Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 102, February 13, 1892 eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 27 pages of information about Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 102, February 13, 1892.

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IN THIS STYLE, SIX-AND-EIGHTPENCE.

Mr. Badgerer, Q.C. (rising to cross-examine).  Then you assert that the golden dinner-service which we are inquiring about was in your possession on the evening of July 26th at half-past eight o’clock?

Plaintiff. I do.

Mr. Badgerer, Q.C. And that when you went to take them out of the strong-box at 9:15 for your party they had disappeared?

Plaintiff. Quite so.

Mr. Badgerer, Q.C. Pardon my suggesting such a thing, but I am instructed to ask you whether, when you paid L800 to the rate-collector for arrears of rates on the very next day, you had not obtained that sum by selling a portion of this gold plate yourself?

The Judge. Really, Mr. BADGERER, this won’t do at all.  “Legal bullying” is a thing of the past, and I shall have to commit you for contempt if you make these unworthy suggestions to the Witness.

Mr. Badgerer, Q.C. But, m’Lud, the whole point of the defence is that the Plaintiff himself sto—­

The Judge (hastily interposing). —­Sh!  You must not talk like that.  Remember that “the floor of the Court is not the same thing as the interior of a coal-barge.”

Mr. Badgerer, Q.C. (sulkily).  Very well.  But I really don’t know how I am to conduct my case if your Ludship intervenes to check me. (To Witness.) I can ask you this at any rate.  Did you or did you not run up to Town by an early train the morning after the robbery?

Plaintiff. Certainly I did.  I went to see my tailor, in Bond Street.

Mr. Badgerer, Q.C. And why did you, then, go all the way from Bond Street to the City, eh?

Plaintiff (gravelled).  My Lord, I must appeal for protection.  The question is a bullying one.

The Judge. Oh, certainly!  Counsel has no right to ask such things.  He ought to take the charitable view of your actions, and suppose that you went to the City for a mid-day chop, or because you wanted to look at St. Paul’s, or something of that kind.  We must really try and conduct our business as nobly as we can.

Mr. Badgerer, Q.C. (pleasantly). “Que Messieurs les assassins commencent!” Then we will presume that your predilection for City chops is so great, that you went a couple of miles out of your way to get one, and that your reason for dropping in at the establishment of Messrs. BLANK, Goldsmiths, and offering them half-a-dozen dessert-plates—­

The Judge (interrupting).  Oh, really, this is not at all—­

Plaintiff. Quite the reverse.  I won’t stay here to be insulted by anybody!

    [Exit hurriedly.

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Project Gutenberg
Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 102, February 13, 1892 from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.