of his imagination, so, in return, his imagination
supplied that dark colouring under which he so often
disguised his true aspect from the world. To
such a perverse length, indeed, did he carry this fancy
for self-defamation, that if (as sometimes, in his
moments of gloom, he persuaded himself,) there was
any tendency to derangement in his mental conformation[1],
on this point alone could it be pronounced to have
manifested itself.[2] In the early part of my acquaintance
with him, when he most gave way to this humour,—for
it was observable afterwards, when the world joined
in his own opinion of himself, he rather shrunk from
the echo,—I have known him more than once,
as we have sat together after dinner, and he was,
at the time, perhaps, a little under the influence
of wine, to fall seriously into this sort of dark
and self-accusing mood, and throw out hints of his
past life with an air of gloom and mystery designed
evidently to awaken curiosity and interest. He
was, however, too promptly alive to the least approaches
of ridicule not to perceive, on these occasions, that
the gravity of his hearer was only prevented from being
disturbed by an effort of politeness, and he accordingly
never again tried this romantic mystification upon
me. From what I have known, however, of his experiments
upon more impressible listeners, I have little doubt
that, to produce effect at the moment, there is hardly
any crime so dark or desperate of which, in the excitement
of thus acting upon the imaginations of others, he
would not have hinted that he had been guilty; and
it has sometimes occurred to me that the occult cause
of his lady’s separation from him, round which
herself and her legal adviser have thrown such formidable
mystery, may have been nothing more, after all, than
some imposture of this kind, some dimly hinted confession
of undefined horrors, which, though intended by the
relater but to mystify and surprise, the hearer so
little understood him as to take in sober seriousness.
[Footnote 1: We have seen how often, in his Journals
and Letters, this suspicion of his own mental soundness
is intimated. A similar notion, with respect
to himself, seems to have taken hold also of the strong
mind of Johnson, who, like Byron, too, was disposed
to attribute to an hereditary tinge that melancholy
which, as he said, “made him mad all his life,
at least not sober.” This peculiar feature
of Johnson’s mind has, in the late new edition
of Boswell’s Life of him, given rise to some
remarks, pregnant with all the editor’s well
known acuteness, which, as bearing on a point so important
in the history of the human intellect, will be found
worthy of all attention.
In one of the many letters of Lord Byron to myself,
which I have thought right to omit, I find him tracing
this supposed disturbance of his own faculties to
the marriage of Miss Chaworth;—“a
marriage,” he says, “for which she sacrificed
the prospects of two very ancient families, and a
heart which was hers from ten years old, and a head
which has never been quite right since.”]