“’If I could but once do that, I would never enter a hell again as long as I drew breath.’

“This was a resolve I could not only make but keep, because I had suffered so much that I would never run through the same misery again that I had already gone through.  However, fortune never seemed inclined to take the turn I had hoped for; fortune was as far off as ever, and had in no case given me any opportunity of recovering myself.

“A few pounds were the utmost I could at any time muster, and I had to keep up something of an appearance, and seem as if I had a thousand a year; when, God knows, I could not have mustered a thousandth part of that sum, were all done and paid for.

“Day after day passed on, and yet no change.  I had almost given myself up to despair, when one night when I went home I saw my wife was more than usually melancholy and sad, and perhaps ill; I didn’t look at her—­I seldom did, because her looks were always a reproach to me; I could not help feeling them so.

“‘Well,’ said I, ’I have come home to you because I have something to bring you; not what I ought—­but what I can—­you must be satisfied!’—­’I am,’ she said.

“’I know also you want it; how is the child, is she quite well?’—­’Yes, quite.’

“‘Where is she?’ inquired I, looking round the room, but I didn’t see her; she used to be up.—­’She has gone to bed,’ she said.

“’It is very early.’—­’Yes, but she cried so for food that I was obliged to get her to sleep to forget her hunger:  poor thing, she has wanted bread very badly.’

“‘Poor thing!’ I said, ’let her be awakened and partake of what I have brought home.’

“With that my wife waked her up, and the moment she opened her eyes she again began to cry for food, which I immediately gave her and saw her devour with the utmost haste and hunger.  The sight smote my heart, and my wife sat by watching, and endeavouring to prevent her from eating so fast.

“‘This is bad,’ I said.—­’Yes, but I hope it may be the worst,’ she replied, in a deep and hollow voice.

“‘Lizzy,’ I exclaimed, ’what is the matter—­are you ill?’—­’Yes, very ill.’

“‘What is the matter with you?  For God’s sake tell me,’ I said, for I was alarmed.—­’I am very ill,’ she said, ’very ill indeed; I feel my strength decreasing every day.  I must drink.’

“You, too, want food?’—­’I have and perhaps do, though the desire to eat seems almost to have left me.’

“‘For Heaven’s sake eat,’ said I; ’I will bring you home something more by to-morrow; eat and drink Lizzy.  I have suffered; but for you and your child’s sake, I will do my best.’—­’Your best,’ she said, ’will kill us both; but, alas, there is no other aid at hand.  You may one day, however, come here too late to find us living.’

“’Say no more, Lizzy, you know not my feelings when you speak thus; alas, I have no hope—­no aid—­no friend.’—­’No,’ she replied, ’your love of gaming drove them from you, because they would not aid a gambler.’