Peck's Compendium of Fun eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 292 pages of information about Peck's Compendium of Fun.

Peck's Compendium of Fun eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 292 pages of information about Peck's Compendium of Fun.

We knew a young man that was going to put one arm around his girl if he did not lay up a cent, and it cost him over three hundred dollars.  The team ran away, the buggy was wrecked, one horse was killed, the girl had her hind leg broken, and the girl’s father kicked the young man all over the orchard, and broke the mainspring of his watch.

It got so that the livery rig a young man drove was an index to his thoughts.  If he had a stylish team that was right up on the bit, and full of vinegar, and he braced himself and pulled for all that was out, and the girl sat back in the corner of the buggy, looking as though she should faint away if a horse got his tail over a line, then people said that couple was all right, and there was no danger that they would be on familiar terms.

But if they started out with a slow old horse that looked as though all he wanted was to be left alone, however innocent the party might look, people knew just as well as though they had seen it, that when they got out on the road, or when night came on, that fellow’s arm would steal around her waist, and she would snug up to him, and—­Oh, pshaw, you have heard it before.

Well, late years the livery men have “got onto the racket,” as they say at the church sociables, They have found that horses that know their business are in demand, and so horses are trained for this purpose.  They are trained on purpose for out-door sparking.  It is not an uncommon thing to see a young fellow drive up to the house where his girl lives with a team that is just tearing things.  They prance, and champ the bit, and the young man seems to pull on them as though his liver was coming out.  The horses will hardly stand still long enough for the girl to get in, and then they start off and seem to split the air wide open, and the neighbors say, “Them children will get all smashed up one of these days.”

The girl’s mother and father see the team start, and their minds experience a relief as they reflect that “as long as John drives that frisky team there can’t be no hugging a going on.”  The girl’s older sister sighs and says, “That’s so,” and goes to her room and laughs right out loud.

It would be instructive to the scientists to watch that team for a few miles.  The horses fairly foam, before they get out of town, but striking the country road, the fiery steeds come down to a walk, and they mope along as though they had always worked on a hearse.  The shady woods are reached, and the carriage scarcely moves, and the horses seem to be walking in their sleep.  The lines are loose on the dash board, and the left arm of the driver is around the pretty girl, and they are talking low.  It is not necessary to talk loud, as they are so near each other that the faintest whisper can be heard.

But a change comes over them.  A carriage appears in front, coming towards them.  It may be someone that knows them.  The young man picks up the lines, and the horses are in the air, and as they pass the other carriage it almost seems as though the team is running away, and the girl that was in sweet repose a moment before acts as though she wanted to get out.  After passing the intruder the walk and conversation are continued.

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Peck's Compendium of Fun from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.