What I mean by a “combination,” is one that in the opinion of your Committee has all the modern improvements, and a few of the old-fashioned faults, such as health, etc.  She must be good-looking, that is not too handsome, but just handsome enough.  You don’t want to give this machine to any female statue, or parlor ornament, who don’t know how to play a tune on it, or who is as cold as a refrigerator car, and has no heart concealed about her person.  Our girl, that is, our “Fair Girl,” that takes this machine, must be “the boss.”  She must be jolly and good-natured, such a girl as would make the young man that married her think that Rock County was the next door to heaven, anyway.  She must be so healthy that nature’s roses will discount any preparation ever made by man, and so well-formed that nothing artificial is needed to—­well, Van, you know what I mean.

You want to pick out a thoroughbred, that is, all wool, a yard wide—­that is, understand me, I don’t want the girl to be a yard wide, but just right.  Your Committee don’t want to get “mashed” on some ethereal creature whose belt is not big enough for a dog collar.  This premium girl wants to be able to do a day’s work, if necessary, and one there is no danger of breaking in two if her intended should hug her.

[Illustration:  I WANT TO BE AN ANGEL.]

After your Committee have got their eyes on a few girls that they think will fill the bill, then they want to find out what kind of girls they are around their home.  Find if they honor their fathers and their mothers, and are helpful, and care as much for the happiness of those around them as they do for their own.  If you find one who is handsome as Venus—­I don’t know Venus, but I have heard that she takes the cake—­I say, if you find one that is perfect in everything, but shirks her duties at home, and plays, “I Want to Be an Angel,” on the piano, while her mother is mending her stockings, or ironing her picnic skirts, then let her go ahead and be an angel as quick as she wants to, but don’t give her the machine.  You catch the idea?

Find a girl who has the elements of a noble woman; one whose heart is so large that she has to wear a little larger corset than some, but one who will make her home happy, and who is a friend to all; one who would walk further to do a good deed, and relieve suffering, than she would to patronize an ice cream saloon; one who would keep her mouth shut a month before she would say an unkind word, or cause a pang to another.  Let your Committee settle on such a girl, and she is as welcome to that machine as possible.

Now, Van, you ought to have a Committee appointed at once, and no one should know who the Committee is.  They should keep their eyes open from now till the time of the Fair, and they should compare notes once in a while.  You have got some splendid judges of girls there in Janesville, but you better appoint married men.  They are usually more unbiased.  They should not let any girl know that she is suspected of being the premium girl, until the judgment is rendered, so no one will be embarrassed by feeling that she is competing for a prize.