small matter,
    I don’t like that dashed “Marseillaise.” 
  And “Israel in Egypt” sounds pointed
    I’d Pharaoh the miscreants—­but stay,
  My soliloquy’s getting disjointed,
    I’ve promised!  COLUMBIA looks gay,
  La Belle France displays a grande passion;
    My arms they unitedly press. 
  One thing though; the Phrygian fashion
    Is not my ideal of dress. 
  They swear that they both love me dearly,
    Their “best of old Autocrat Chaps!”
  They are setting their Caps at me, clearly,
    But,—­well, I don’t quite like the Caps!

* * * * *

THE CAPLESS MAID.

["The plaintiff gave evidence that she was engaged as a sort of house and parlour-maid ... and was discharged after she had been there nine days, because she refused to wear a cap ...  His Honour:  I do not think she was bound to wear a cap.”—­Daily Paper.]

    What shall we do with our Maid? 
      How shall we treat her best? 
  Shall the gems that are rare be strewed in her hair? 
      And shall she in silks be drest? 
    Shall we make her a gift of gold? 
      Shall we make her our queen?  Perhaps. 
  But whatever we make her, wherever we take her,
      We never must make her wear caps.

    Imperious, capless, supreme,
      Do just as you please evermore;
  And wear what you will, for we shall be
      And never complain as before. 
    We may put all our money in mines,
      We may put all our cheese into traps,
  But we put, it is clear, our foot in it, dear,
      When we try to put you into caps.

* * * * *

THE DIFFERENCE.

["It needs no argument to show that in the summer of 1893 Mr. GLADSTONE is less likely to take an active part in any electoral contest than he can be in the spring or autumn of 1892.”—­Mr. Edward Dicey, on “The Next Parliament."]

  “Time’s on our side,” said GLADSTONE.  DICEY, too,
  Takes Edax Rerum as his friend most true. 
  GLADSTONE Time’s “Hour Glass” trusts; but DICEY’s blithe
  Because his hopes are centred on Time’s scythe. 
  Faith lives in Life, but Fear’s most vigorous breath
  Lives “in the sure and certain hope”—­of Death!

* * * * *

RESIGNATION.

  “Fire!  Fire!”
  “Where? where?’
  SHAW’s resigned. 
  Then find
  Another one! 
  Many gone? 
  Fire!  Where? 
  Here’s a scare!!

* * * * *

[Illustration:  A NEW WAY OF PAYING CHURCH DEBTS.

(Vide “Liverpool Daily Post,” July 23 1891.)]

* * * * *

UPON A GLOVE.

(AFTER THE FASHION—­MORE OR LESS—­OF HERRICK.)