“Philo comes piping hot out of the College, and having his Head full of Poetical Gingles, writes an Elegy, a Panegyrick or a Satyr upon the least frivolous Occasion:  This brings him acquainted with all the Second-Rate Wits; One of these introduces him at Will’s, and having a Play upon the Stocks, and ready to be Launch’d, he prevails with Philo to write him a Song, a Dialogue, a Prologue and Epilogue, in short, the Trimming of his Comedy.  By this time, Philo begins to think himself a great Man, and nothing less than the writing of a Play, can satisfie his towring Ambition; well, the Play is writ, the Players, upon the Recommendation of those that lick’d it over, like their Parts to a Fondness, and the Comedy, or Tragedy, being supported partly by its real Merit, but most powerfully by a Toasting, or Kit-cat-Club, comes off with universal Applause.  How slippery is Greatness! Philo puff’d up with his Success, writes a second Play, scorns to improve it by the Corrections of better Wits, brings it upon the Stage, without securing a Party to protect it, and has the Mortification to hear it Hist to death.  Pray how many Philos do we reckon in Town since the Revolution?

“The reason we have had so many ill Plays of late, is this; The extraordinary Success of the worst Performances encourages every Pretender to Poetry to Write; Whereas the indifferent Reception some excellent Pieces have met with, discourages our best Poets from Writing.

“After all, one of the boldest Attempts of Human Wit, is to write a taking Comedy:  For, how many different sorts of People, how many various Palates must a Poet please, to gain a general Applause?  He must have a Plot and Design, Coherence and Unity of Action, Time and Place, for the Criticks, Polite Language for the Boxes, Repartee, Humor, and Double Entendres for the Pit; and to the shame of our Theatres, a mixture of Farce for the Galleries, What Man of Sense now will venture his Reputation upon these hard Terms.

“The Poet often arrogates to himself the Applause, which we only give to Mrs. Barry or Bracegirdle’s inimitable Performances:  But then he must take as often upon his Account the Hisses, which are only intended for Caesonia, and Corinna’s abominable Acting.  One makes amends for ’tother.

“Many a pert Coxcomb might have past for a Wit, if his Vanity had not brought him to Will’s.

“The same thing that makes a Man appear with Assurance at Court; qualifies him also to appear unconcern’d among Men of Sense at Will’s:  I mean Impertinence.

“As some People Write, so others talk themselves out of their Reputation.”