“Yes,” says Tom, not unwilling for a moment that the guard should think him an old boy.  But then, having some qualms as to the truth of the assertion, and seeing that if he were to assume the character of an old boy he couldn’t go on asking the questions he wanted, added—­“That is to say, I’m on my way there.  I’m a new boy.”

The guard looked as if he knew this quite as well as Tom.

“You’re werry late, sir,” says the guard; “only six weeks to-day to the end of the half.”  Tom assented.  “We takes up fine loads this day six weeks, and Monday and Tuesday arter.  Hopes we shall have the pleasure of carrying you back.”

Tom said he hoped they would; but he thought within himself that his fate would probably be the Pig and Whistle.

“It pays uncommon cert’nly,” continues the guard.  “Werry free with their cash is the young genl’m’n.  But, Lor’ bless you, we gets into such rows all ‘long the road, what wi’ their pea-shooters, and long whips, and hollering, and upsetting every one as comes by, I’d a sight sooner carry one or two on ’em, sir, as I may be a-carryin’ of you now, than a coach-load.”

“What do they do with the pea-shooters?” inquires Tom.

“Do wi’ ’em!  Why, peppers every one’s faces as we comes near, ’cept the young gals, and breaks windows wi’ them too, some on ’em shoots so hard.  Now ’twas just here last June, as we was a-driving up the first-day boys, they was mendin’ a quarter-mile of road, and there was a lot of Irish chaps, reg’lar roughs, a-breaking stones.  As we comes up, ’Now, boys,’ says young gent on the box (smart young fellow and desper’t reckless), ‘here’s fun!  Let the Pats have it about the ears.’  ’God’s sake sir!’ says Bob (that’s my mate the coachman); ’don’t go for to shoot at ’em.  They’ll knock us off the coach.’  ‘Damme, coachee,’ says young my lord, ’you ain’t afraid.—­Hoora, boys! let ’em have it.’  ‘Hoora!’ sings out the others, and fill their mouths choke-full of peas to last the whole line.  Bob, seeing as ’twas to come, knocks his hat over his eyes, hollers to his osses, and shakes ’em up; and away we goes up to the line on ’em, twenty miles an hour.  The Pats begin to hoora too, thinking it was a runaway; and first lot on ’em stands grinnin’ and wavin’ their old hats as we comes abreast on ’em; and then you’d ha’ laughed to see how took aback and choking savage they looked, when they gets the peas a-stinging all over ’em.  But bless you, the laugh weren’t all of our side, sir, by a long way.  We was going so fast, and they was so took aback, that they didn’t take what was up till we was half-way up the line.  Then ’twas, ‘Look out all!’ surely.  They howls all down the line fit to frighten you; some on ’em runs arter us and tries to clamber up behind, only we hits ’em over the fingers and pulls their hands off; one as had had it very sharp act’ly runs right at the leaders, as though he’d ketch ’em by the heads, only luck’ly for him he misses his tip and comes over a heap o’