“He had come direct to Naples by steam, and during the voyage had made this calculation:  With money I shall say every thing, do every thing, and have every thing I please.  He had not long to wait to find out his mistake.  The steamer cast anchor in the port of Naples just half an hour too late for the passengers to land.  The Englishman, who had been very sea-sick, and was particularly anxious to get on shore, sent to offer the captain of the port a hundred guineas if he would let him land directly.  The quarantine laws of Naples are very strict; the captain of the port thought the Englishman was mad, and only laughed at his offer.  He was therefore obliged to sleep on board in an excessively bad humour, cursing alike those who made the regulations and those who enforced them.

“The first thing he did when he got on shore, was to set off to visit the ruins of Pompeii.  There happened to be no regular guide at hand, so he took a lazzarone instead.  He had not forgotten his disappointment of the night before, and all the way to Pompeii he relieved his mind by abusing King Ferdinand in the best Italian he could muster.  The lazzarone, whom he had taken into his carriage, took no notice of all this so long as they were on the high-road.  Lazzaroni, in general, meddle very little in politics, and do not care how much you abuse king or kaiser so long as nothing disrespectful is said of the Virgin Mary, St Januarius, or Mount Vesuvius.  On arriving, however, at the Via dei Sepolchri, the ragged guide put his finger on his lips as a signal to be silent.  But his employer either did not understand the gesture, or considered it beneath his dignity to take notice of it, for he continued his invectives against Ferdinand the Well-beloved.

“‘Pardon me, Eccellenza,’ said the lazzarone at last, placing his hand upon the side of the barouche, and jumping out as lightly as a harlequin.  ‘Pardon me, Eccellenza, but I must return to Naples.’

“‘And why so?’ inquired the other in his broken Italian.

“‘Because I do not wish to be hung.’

“‘And who would dare to hang you?’

“‘The king.’

“‘Why?’

“‘Because you are speaking ill of him.’

“‘An Englishman has a right to say whatever he likes.’

“‘It may be so, but a lazzarone has not.’

“‘But you have said nothing.’

“‘But I hear everything.’

“‘Who will tell what you hear?’

“‘The invalid soldier who accompanies us to visit Pompeii.’

“‘I do not want an invalid soldier.’

“‘Then you cannot visit Pompeii.’

“‘Not by paying?’

“‘No.’

“‘But I will pay double, treble, four times, whatever they ask.’

“‘No, no, no.’

“‘Oh!’ said the Englishman, and he fell into a brown study, during which the lazzarone amused himself by trying to jump over his own shadow.

“‘I will take the invalid,’ said the Englishman after a little reflection.