Mr. PROTHERO has made up his alleged differences with the SECRETARY OF STATE FOR WAR, and signalized the treaty of peace first by snuggling up to Mr. MACPHERSON on the Treasury Bench, and next by handsomely supporting the new Military Service Bill.  In return the UNDER-SECRETARY FOR WAR introduced a much-needed amendment by which men wholly engaged on food-production may be exempted by the Board of Agriculture from the process of “re-combing” now to be applied to the rest of the population.

Wednesday, April 4th.—­Mr. SNOWDEN disapproves of the selection of the two Labour Members who are to form part of a deputation about to proceed to Petrograd to convey to the Russian Government the congratulations of the British people.  Possibly the neckties of the proposed envoys are not of a sufficiently sanguinary shade, or their brows are not lofty enough to proclaim them true “leaders of thought.”  The suggestion that the Member for Blackburn should himself be despatched to Petrograd (without a return ticket) has been regretfully abandoned.

* * * * *

[Illustration:  Jock (in captured trench).  “COOM AWA’ UP HERE, DONAL’; IT’S DRIER.”]

* * * * *

PREPARED FOR THE WORST.

Extract from a Canadian lease-form:—­

    “Will during the said term keep and at its expiration leave the
    premises in good repair (reasonable wear and tear and accidents by fire
    or tempest expected).”

* * * * *

    “Gentleman single letterarian sportsman 5 linguages tennant pretty
    little cottage charmingly situated between Montreux Vevey, complete
    sanitary accommodations vicinity boat, seabaths, golf-grounds
    excursions receives
               PAYING GUEST
    moderate terms, Prussians and Austro-Germans, alcoholists undesired.”—­
    Swiss Paper.

We do not quite know what a single letterarian is, but he seems to be a person of discriminating taste.

* * * * *

“AVIARIES, POULTRY AND PETS.

    Lady ——­’s Teeth Society, Ltd.—­Gas 2s., teeth at hospital prices,
    weekly if desired.”—­Daily Paper.

We are not told under which category Lady ——­’s dentures come, but venture to point out that in these days no one should make a pet of them.

* * * * *

MAXIMS OF THE MONTHS.

(Composed during the recent Spring snowstorm.)

  From January’s start to close
  It rains or hails or sleets or snows.

  For atmospherical vagaries
  The palm perhaps is February’s.

  To say March exits like a lamb
  Is Falsehood’s very grandest slam.

  April may smile in Patagonia,
  But here it always breeds pneumonia.

  May, alternating sun and blizzard,
  Plays havoc with the stoutest gizzard.