* * * * *

[Illustration:  Tommy (to Officer who has only arrived in the trench by accident).  “IF YOU’RE A-LOOKIN’ FOR THE BURIED CABLE, SIR, IT’S FURTHER ALONG.”]

* * * * *

CHILDREN’S TALES FOR GROWN-UPS.

VI.

THE CAT AND THE KING.

The cat looked at the King.

She was the boldest cat in the world, but her heart stood still as she vindicated the immemorial right of her race.

What would the King say?  What would the King do?

Would he call her up to sit on his royal shoulder?  If so, she would purr her loudest to drown the beating of her heart, and she would rub her head against the royal ear.  How splendid to be a royal cat!

Or perhaps he would appoint her Mouser to the King’s Household, and she would keep the King’s peace with tooth and claw.

Or perhaps she would become playmate to the Royal children, and live on cream and sleep all day on a silken cushion.

Or—­and this is where her heart ceased to beat—­perhaps she would pay the price of her temerity and the Hereditary Executioner would smite off her head.

She had put it boldly to the test, to sink or swim.  What would the King do?

The King rose slowly from his throne and passed out to his own apartments, whilst all the Court bowed.

The King had not noticed the cat.

* * * * *

THE RULING PASSION.

    “A Russian official accredited to this country, in an interview with a
    representative of the Morning Post yesterday, said:—­Potatoes.”—­
    Evening Times and Echo (Bristol).

* * * * *

    “I could well enter into the feelings of this lad’s colonel when, with
    a lint in his eye, he descrihimbed as ‘a riceless youngster.’”—­Civil
    and Military Gazette.

We fear that the insertion of the bandage in the colonel’s eye must have prevented him from forming a true appreciation of the young fellow.

* * * * *

Headline to a leading article in The Evening News:—­

    “WATCH ITALY AND RUSSIA.”

Extract from same:—­

    “We ought to keep our eyes fixed on the Western front.”

Correspondents should address their inquiries to Carmelite, Squinting House Square.

* * * * *

HERBS OF GRACE.

VI.

ROSEMARY.

  Whenas on summer days I see
  That sacred herb, the Rosemary,
  The which, since once Our Lady threw
  Upon its flow’rs her robe of blue,
  Has never shown them white again,
      But still in blue doth dress them—­
          Then, oh, then
  I think upon old friends and bless them.