***

We are glad to note an agitation for a bath-room in every artisan dwelling.  Only last week we were pained by a photograph in a weekly paper showing somebody reduced to taking his tub in the icy Serpentine.

***

Motto for Housekeepers:—­

    “Weigh it and see.”

* * * * *

National service.

War has taught the truth that shines Through the poet’s noble lines:—­ “Common are to either sex Artifex and opifex.”

* * * * *

William v.  The world.

  Doubtless you feel that such a fight
    Would be a huge reclame for Hundom;
  That Earth would stagger at the sight
    Of Gulielmus contra Mundum;
      That William, facing awful odds,
  Should prove a spectacle for men and gods.

  (’Tis true you have Allies who share
    The toll you levy for the shambles,
  Yet, judging by the frills you wear
    In this your most forlorn of gambles,
      One might suppose you stood alone
  In solitary splendour all your own.)

  And if the game against you goes,
    As seems, I take it, fairly certain,
  The Hero, felled by countless foes,
    Should make a rather useful curtain;
      You could with honour cry for grace,
  Having preserved the thing you call your face.

  I shouldn’t count too much on that. 
    The globe is patient, slow and pensive,
  But has a way of crushing flat
    The objects which it finds offensive;
      And when it’s done with you, my brave,
  I doubt if you will have a face to save.

O.S.

* * * * *

A lost Leader.

    “Mr. Law began his speech with intermittent cries for Mr. Lloyd
    George.”—­The Saturday Westminster Gazette.

We can well understand Mr. Law’s sense of loneliness, and our contemporary has performed a genuine service in recording this pathetic incident, which seems to have escaped all the other reporters of the opening of Parliament.

* * * * *

    “His mother died when he was seven years old, while his father lived to
    be nearly a centurion.”—­Wallasey and Wirral Chronicle.

Hard lines that he just missed his promotion.

* * * * *

“ROYAL FLYING CORPS.

    FLIGHT COMDRS.—­Lt. (temp.  Capt.) F.P.  Don, and to retain his temp.
    tank whilst so empld.”—­The Times.

We commend this engaging theme to the notice of Mr. LANCELOT SPEED, in case the popularity of his film, “Tank Pranks,” now being exhibited, should call for a second edition.

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