“How to affix a porch to an old church.

“If the church is of stone, let the porch be of brick, the roof slated, and the entrance to it of the improved Gothic called modern, being an arch formed by an acute angle.  The porch should be placed so as to stop up what might be called a useless window; and as it sometimes happens that there is an ancient Saxon[29] entrance, let it be carefully bricked up, and perhaps plastered, so as to conceal as much as possible of the zigzag ornament used in buildings of this kind.  Such improvements cannot fail to ensure celebrity to churchwardens of future ages.

  “How to add a vestry to an old church.

“The building here proposed is to be of bright brick, with a slated roof and sash windows, with a small door on one side; and it is, moreover, to be adorned with a most tasty and ornamental brick chimney, which terminates at the chancel end.  The position of the building should be against two old Gothic windows; which, having the advantage of hiding them nearly altogether, when contrasted with the dull and uniform surface of an old stone church, has a lively and most imposing effect.

  “How to ornament the top or battlements of a tower belonging to
  an ancient church.

“Place on each battlement, vases, candlesticks, and pineapples alternately, and the effect will be striking.  Vases have many votaries amongst those worthy members of society, the churchwardens.  Candlesticks are of ancient origin, and represent, from the highest authority, the light of the churches:  but as in most churches weathercocks are used, I would here recommend the admirers of novelty and improvement to adopt a pair of snuffers, which might also be considered as a useful emblem for reinvigorating the lights from the candlesticks.  The pineapple ornament having in so many churches been judiciously substituted for Gothic, cannot fail to please.  Some such ornament should also be placed at the top of the church, and at the chancel end.  But as this publication does not restrict any churchwarden of real taste, and as the ornaments here recommended are in a common way made of stone, if any would wish to distinguish his year of office, perhaps he would do it brilliantly by painting them all bright red....”

  [29] Doubtless our author means Norman.

Other valuable suggestions are made in this curious and amusing work, such as “how to repair Quartre-feuille windows” by cutting out all the partitions and making them quite round; “how to adapt a new church to an old tower with most taste and effect,” the most attractive features being light iron partitions instead of stone mullions for the windows, with shutters painted yellow, bright brick walls and slate roof, and a door painted sky-blue.  You can best ornament a chancel by placing colossal figures of Moses and Aaron supporting the altar, huge tables of the commandments,