ROSEMARY.  Thank you, James. (She sits down.) If any one calls I am not at home.

JAMES.  Yes, Miss.

ROSEMARY.  You may add that I am engaged in writing my
auto—­autobiography.

JAMES.  Yes, Miss.

ROSEMARY.  It’s what every one writes, isn’t it, James?

JAMES.  I believe so, Miss.

ROSEMARY.  Thank you. (He goes to the door.) Oh, James?

JAMES.  Yes, Miss?

ROSEMARY.  What is an autobiography?

JAMES.  Well, I couldn’t rightly say, Miss—­not to explain it properly.

ROSEMARY (dismayed).  Oh, James! . . .  I thought you knew everything.

JAMES.  In the ordinary way, yes, Miss, but every now and then——­

ROSEMARY.  It’s very upsetting.

JAMES.  Yes, Miss. . . .  How would it be to write a play instead?  Very easy work, they tell me.

ROSEMARY (nodding).  Yes, that’s much better.  I’ll write a play.  Thank you, James.

JAMES.  Not at all, Miss. [He goes out.

(ROSEMARY bites her pen, and thinks deeply.  At last the inspiration comes.)

ROSEMARY (as she writes).  Make-Believe.  M-a-k-e hyphen B-e-l——­ (she stops and frowns) Now which way is it? (She tries it on the blotting-paper) That looks wrong. (She tries it again) So does that.  Oh, dear! (She rings the bell . . .  JAMES returns.)

JAMES.  Yes, Miss?

ROSEMARY.  James, I have decided to call my play Make-Believe.

JAMES.  Yes, Miss.

ROSEMARY (carelessly).  When you spell “believe,” it is “i-e,” isn’t it?

JAMES.  Yes, Miss.

ROSEMARY.  I thought at first it was “e-i.”

JAMES.  Now you mention it, I think it is, Miss.

ROSEMARY (reproachfully).  Oh, James!  Aren’t you certain?

JAMES.  M-a-k-e, make, B-e-l——­ (He stops and scratches his whiskers.)

ROSEMARY.  Yes. I got as far as that.

JAMES.  B-e-l——­

ROSEMARY.  You see, James, it spoils the play if you have an accident to the very first word of it.

JAMES.  Yes, Miss.  B-e-l——­I’ve noticed sometimes that if one writes a word careless-like on the blotting-paper, and then looks at it with the head on one side, there’s a sort of instinct comes over one, as makes one say (with a shake of the head) “Rotten.”  One can then write it the other way more hopeful.

ROSEMARY.  I’ve tried that.

JAMES.  Then might I suggest, Miss, that you give it another name altogether?  As it might be, “Susan’s Saturday Night,” all easy words to spell, or “Red Revenge,” or——­

ROSEMARY.  I must call it Make-Believe, because it’s all of the play
I’ve thought of so far.

JAMES.  Quite so, Miss.  Then how would it be to spell it wrong on purpose?  It comes funnier that way sometimes.

ROSEMARY.  Does it?

JAMES.  Yes, Miss.  Makes ’em laugh.