of late, only during the past few years, had the recurrence awakened within him a sort of horror, its approach a sense of loneliness that was demoralizing, and its celebration an emptiness in life that chilled and depressed beyond all reason.  Why was it that as it drew near a feeling of cowardice so possessed him that he wanted to go away, go anywhere and hide until it was over, go where he could not see what it meant to others?  It was humanity’s home-time, and he had no home.  Why—­

“An ass that brays is wiser than the man who asks what can’t be answered,” he said, under his breath.  “For the love of Heaven, quit it!  Why-ing in a man is as inexcusable as whining in a woman.  There’s my car—­crowded, of course!”

For some minutes longer he waited for a car on which there was chance to get a foothold, then, buttoning his overcoat, put his hands in his pockets and began the walk to his club.  The season had been mild so far, but a change was coming, and the two days left for Christmas shopping would doubtless be stormy ones.  On the whole, it might be fortunate.  There was a good deal of nonsense in this curious custom of once a year getting on a giving jag, which was about what Christmas had degenerated into, and if something could prevent the dementia that possessed many people at this season it should be welcomed.  It had often puzzled him, the behavior of the human family at this so-called Christian holiday in which tired people were overworked, poor people bought what they couldn’t afford, and the rich gave unneeded things to the rich and were given unwanted ones in return.  The hands of all people—­all places—­had become outstretched.  It wasn’t the giving of money that mattered.  But what did matter was the hugeness of the habit which was commercializing a custom whose origin was very far removed from the spirit of the day.

With a shrug of his shoulders he shoved his hands deeper down into his pockets.  “Quit again,” he said, half aloud.  “What do you know of the spirit of the day?”

Not only of the spirit of the day did he know little, but of late with acute conviction it was dawning on him that he knew little of many other things.  Certainly he was getting little out of life.  For a while, after professional recognition had come to him, and with it financial reward, he had tested society, only to give it up and settle down to still harder work during the day and his books when the day was done.  The only woman he had ever wanted to marry had refused to marry him.  His teeth came down on his lips.  He still wanted her.  In all the world there was but one woman he loved or could love, and for three years he had not seen her.  It was his fault.  He was to blame.  It had taken him long to see it, but he saw it now.  There had been a difference of opinion, a frank revealing of opposing points of view, and he had been told that she would not surrender her life to the selfishness that takes no part in activities beyond the interests