The Wheel of Life eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 464 pages of information about The Wheel of Life.

The Wheel of Life eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 464 pages of information about The Wheel of Life.
examination—­but it needed much less, in fact, than this to assure him that her expenses had not only gone immeasurably beyond her own limited allowance, but that they had considerably exceeded his slightly larger income.  Her debts had evidently run up to a sum which she had lost the courage to confess even to herself, and, while the gravity of the situation entered into him, he smoothed out the torn and crumpled sheets and went with them to his study.  Until to-night he had looked upon Connie’s extravagance merely as an innocent childish failing, resulting from an inherent incapacity, as she laughingly said, “to do sums,” but now as he sat under the green lamp shade, anxiously multiplying item after item, it seemed to him that this recent recklessness involved not only her private happiness but his own personal honour.  He was a hot-tempered man by nature, and at first the very absurdity of her expenditures, the useless, costly trifles which made up the amount, produced in him an unreasoning passion of anger.  Had she been in the house he would have gone to her in the first shock of his temper, but her ceaseless pursuit of pleasure had put her beyond his reach, so he sat silently staring at the neatly arranged heap of papers while his exasperation cooled within him.

Presently, still sitting motionless in his chair, he felt the absolute quiet of the room take effect upon his mood, and with the peculiar tolerance confirmed as much by balked ambition as by years of enforced and bitter patience he began with a philosophic and impersonal leniency to soften in his judgment of Connie’s case.  At the moment there was no tenderness, he told himself, in the view he took, and he gave to her merely the distant, habitual charity that he would have extended to the stranger in the street.  To give to her in the very least seemed to him suddenly almost impossible when he remembered that from a forlornly foolish caprice she had plunged him into a debt of several years.  He had worked hard, with broken health, in a profession of small financial returns, but to his own simple tastes his income might have brought not only perfect material ease, but the enjoyment of comparative luxury.  Still there was Connie—­he had always in every situation remembered that there was Connie—­and in order to insure her present comfort as well as to provide for her future livelihood, he had contrived to limit his expenses to the merest necessities.  One only gratification he had allowed himself—­his eyes travelled gloomily round his precious book-lined walls and he found himself wondering if those particular treasures would bring their full value in the open market?  He regarded them meditatively, almost religiously, with the impassioned eye of the collector who is born not cultivated.  Yet there were among them no high-priced, particular rarities, for he had always counted the cost with the deliberation which he felt to be the better part of impulse.  Financially they did not represent

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The Wheel of Life from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.