* * * * *
[Illustration: “AWEARY! AWEARY!”
Miss Certainage (who has been studying Schopenhauer, and has come to the conclusion that there is nothing but sorrow in life, sadly). “AH, MAJOR, I’M SURE I SHALL DIE YOUNG!”
Ethel. “OH NO, AUNT DEAR, I’M CERTAIN YOU WON’T!”]
* * * * *
THE GENERAL’S LITTLE FUND.
(SEE “TIMES,” MAY 11.)
[Illustration]
Oh where, oh where is my little wee fund?
Oh where, oh where can it
be?
With the pence cut short and the pounds
cut long;
Oh where, oh where can it
be?
I’ve travelled about with my little
wee fund—
It used to pay for me;
But now it’s gone I’m lorn
and lone;
Oh where, oh where can it
be?
I want to stump through Switzerland;
On the 24th proximo.
To Germany, Sweden, Norway, and
To Denmark I want to go;
I’ve held out my hat to every flat,
And begged over land and sea,
Humanity dunned, but I have no fund—
Oh where, oh where can it be?
If ever you see a stray bawbee
Whenever, wherever you roam,
Oh, tell him the woe that troubles me
so,
And say that it keeps me at
home.
I may mention that what you do, like a
shot
Must be done to be useful
to me;
At once send a cheque to save us from
wreck,
Or the Army will go to the
D!
* * * * *
MR. PUNCH
TO
THE ILLUSTRATED LONDON NEWS.
ON THE HAPPY OCCASION OF THE JUBILEE OF THAT EXCELLENT JOURNAL, MAY 14, 1892.
From Forty-Two to Ninety-Two!
A full half-century of story!
And now, our Century’s end in view.
May’s back once more
in vernal glory,
And with it brings your Jubilee,
(Punch came to his
one year before you!)
“Many Returns,” Ma’am,
may you see,
And honoured be the hour that
bore you!
Good faith! it scarcely seems so long
To us old boys, who can remember
The tale, the picture, and the song
We pored o’er by the
wintry ember;
And how our young and eager eyes
Were kept from childhood’s
easy slumbers
By the awakening ecstasies
Of cheery coloured Christmas
Numbers.
We loved great GILBERT, Glorious JOHN!—
Sir JOHN to-day, good knight,
fine painter!
Our eyes dwelt lingeringly upon
His work, by which all else
showed fainter.
His dashing pencil “go” could
give
To simplest scene; a wondrous
gift ’tis!
How his bold line could make things live
In those far Forties and old
Fifties!