* * * * *

OUR BOOKING-OFFICE.

“MRS. HENNIKER,” my Baronite writes, “dedicates to her brother, Lord HOUGHTON, her first essay in fiction, on the ground that he will be the most kindly critic. Bid me Good-bye (BENTLEY) does not stand in need of the adventitious aid of fraternal kindliness to recommend it to the reader.  The story of woman’s sacrifice to a sense of duty has been told before; but Mrs. HENNIKER endows her version with a charm of simplicity under which, here and there, glows the fire of passion.  Moreover, she writes excellent English, which ladies who make books do sometimes.  It is a pity the story is so sad. Colonel St. Aubyn might just as well have married Mary Giffard, and lived ever after in that charming Brereton Royal which Mrs. HENNIKER doubtless sketches from life.  If she had insisted on his being a cripple for life, her dictum could not have been disputed.  But there ought to have been a union between William and Mary.”

* * * * *

Why are the Obstructives like last Season’s Walnuts?—­Because they are troublesome to PEEL.

* * * * *

[Illustration:  VOLO EPISCOPARI.

Festive Middy.  “I SAY, GUV’NOR!  I THINK YOU MUST RATHER LIKE BEING BISHOP HERE!”

His Lordship.  “WELL, MY BOY, I HOPE I DO!  BUT WHY DO YOU ASK?”

Festive Middy.  “OH, I’VE JUST BEEN TAKING A WALK THROUGH THE CITY, AND—­I SAY!—­THERE IS AN UNCOMMONLY GOOD-LOOKING LOT O’ GIRLS ABOUT, AND NO MISTAKE!”]

* * * * *

TO LORD SALISBURY.

(BY A PERTURBED TORY.)

["We trust that the present Administration will not commit the blunder of attempting to ’gain favour with this or that section of the constituencies, by indulging in loose talk on economical questions.’”—­The Standard.]

  To thump the Drum Ecclesiastic
    Was very likely mere parade;
  But oh, why make yourself seem plastic
    To the fanatics of Fair Trade? 
  Of course a warning’s no “incitement”;
    You only said, in tones of thunder,
  The valiant Ulstermen to fight meant,
    And on your soul you didn’t wonder. 
  Encouragement in that?  Go to! 
    Did shouting SAUNDERSON so take it?
  (Still it did raise a hullabaloo.
    It’s settling now, DON’T re-awake it!)
  No; civil war is far—­and fudge! 
    But why the dickens make suggestions
  That England is inclined to budge
    An inch, on Economic Questions? 
  Let HOWARD VINCENT, if he likes,
    Talk “Fair Trade” fustian; no one listens. 
  But you?—­best keep to slating Strikes. 
    You bet the eye of HARCOURT glistens,
  And GLADSTONE reading with a grin,
    Says, “Now I have him