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[Illustration:  The Big ’Un. “MY DEAR FELLOW!  IS IT REALLY TRUE THAT YOU HAVE TO JOIN UP?”

The Little ’Un. “YES; BUT DON’T LET IT GET ABOUT.  YOU SEE, THE IDEA IS TO SPRING IT ON THE GERMANS, AS IT WERE, IN MARCH.”]

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[Illustration:  ACROBAT, HAVING BEEN OFFICIALLY INFORMED THAT HE BELONGS TO ONE OF THE NON-ESSENTIAL PROFESSIONS, DETERMINES NEVERTHELESS TO DEVOTE HIS TALENT TO THE CAUSE OF HIS SUFFERING FELLOW-COUNTRYMEN.]

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THE COMPLIMENT.

We all know the man with a grievance and avoid him.  But there is another man with a grievance whom I rather like, and this is his story.  I must, of course, let him tell it in the first-person-singular, because otherwise what is the use of having a grievance at all?  The first-person-singular narrative form is the grievance’s compensation.  Listen.

“I am an old Oxonian who joined the Royal Naval Division as an ordinary seaman not long after the outbreak of the War, and being perhaps not too physically vigorous and having a certain rhetorical gift, developed at the Union, I was told off, after some months’ training, to take part in a recruiting campaign.  We pursued the usual tactics.  First a trumpeter awakened the neighbourhood, very much as Mr. HAWTREY is aroused from his coma in his delightful new play, and then the people drew round.  One by one we mounted whatever rostrum there was—­a drinking fountain, say—­and spoke our little piece, urging the claims of country.

“As a rule the audience was either errand-boys, girls or old men; but we did our best.

“Sometimes, however, there would be an evening meeting in a public building, and then the proceedings were more formal and pretentious.  The trumpeter disappeared and a chairman would open the ball.  The occasion of which I am thinking was one of these meetings in the East End, where the Chairman was a local tradesman.  He said that this was a war for liberty and that England could never sheathe the sword until Belgium was free; he told the audience how many of his relations were fighting; and then he made way for our gallant boys in blue who were to address the company.

“Well, we addressed the company, I by no means the least of the orators, and then the Chairman wound up the meeting.  He said how much he had enjoyed the speeches and how much he hoped that they would bear good fruit; and indeed he felt confident of that, because ’we ’ere in the East End are plain straight-forward folk, who like plain straight-forward talk, and we would rather listen to the honest ’omely sailors who ’ave been talking to us this evening, than any fine Oxford gentleman.’”

That is the story of my friend with a grievance.  And yet, now I come to think about it again, and his manner of telling it, I’m not sure I ought not rather to call him a man with a triumph.