in the presence of which all hesitation vanished,—nay, thought itself fell back before the tide of revealing emotion:—
“I paced the city:
it was the first Spring.
By the invasion
I lay passive to,
In rushed new
things, the old were rapt away;
Alike abolished—the
imprisonment
Of the outside
air, the inside weight o’ the world
That pulled me
down.”
The bonds of his old existence snapped, the former heaven and earth died for him, and that death was the beginning of life:—
“Death
meant, to spurn the ground.
Soar to the sky,—die
well and you do that.
The very immolation
made the bliss;
Death was the
heart of life, and all the harm
My folly had crouched
to avoid, now proved a veil
Hiding all gain
my wisdom strove to grasp:
As if the intense
centre of the flame
Should turn a
heaven to that devoted fly
Which hitherto,
sophist alike and sage,
Saint Thomas with
his sober grey goose-quill,
And sinner Plato
by Cephisian reed,
Would fain, pretending
just the insect’s good,
Whisk off, drive
back, consign to shade again.
Into another state,
under new rule
I knew myself
was passing swift and sure;
Whereof the initiatory
pang approached,
Felicitous annoy,
as bitter-sweet
As when the virgin-band,
the victors chaste,
Feel at the end
the earthly garments drop,
And rise with
something of a rosy shame
Into immortal
nakedness: so I
Lay, and let come
the proper throe would thrill
Into the ecstasy
and outthrob pain.”
But he presently discovered that his new task did not contravene, but only completed, the old ideal. The Church had offered her priest no alternative between the world and the cloister,—self-indulgence and self-slaughter. For ignoble passion her sole remedy was to crush passion altogether. She calls to the priest to renounce the fleshly woman and cleave to Her, the Bride who took his plighted troth; but it is a scrannel voice sighing from stone lungs:—
“Leave that live passion, come, be dead with me!”
From the exalted Pisgah of his “new state” he recognised that the true self-sacrifice, the perfect priesthood, lay by way of life, not death, that life and death
“Are means to
an end, that passion uses both,
Indisputably mistress
of the man
Whose form of
worship is self-sacrifice.”
Yet it is not this recognition, but the “passion” which ultimately determines his course. Love is, for Browning, in his maturity, deeper and more secure than thought; Caponsacchi wavers in his thinking, falls back upon the narrower conception of priesthood, persuades himself that his duty is to serve God:—
“Duty to God is
duty to her: I think
God, who created
her, will save her too
Some new way,
by one miracle the more,
Without me.”