* * * * *

REDDIE-TURUS SALUTAT.—­A good combination of names is to be found in an announcement of a forthcoming Concert at Prince’s Hall, Piccadilly, on the evening of May 11, to be given by Mr. CHARLES REDDIE and Mr. A. TAYLOR.  Briefly, it might be announced as “A.  TAYLOR’s REDDIE-made Concert.”  If REDDIE-money only taken at door, will A. TATYOR give credit? Solvitur ambulando—­that is, Walk in, and you’ll find out.  It is to be play-time for Master JEAN GERARDY, “Master G.,” who is going to perform on an Erard piano, when, as his REDDIE-witted companion playfully observes, “The youthful pianist will out-Erard ERARD.”

* * * * *

“CALL YOU THIS BACKING YOUR FRIENDS?”

(BY A CONFUSED CONSERVATIVE.)

  To stave off Change, and check the loud Rad Rough rage,
    Conservatism is as shield and fetter meant;
  And now brave BALFOUR votes for Female Suffrage;
    And RITCHIE tells us he approves of “Betterment”! 
  O valiant WESTMINSTER, O warlike WEMYSS,
  Is this to be the end of all our dreams?

* * * * *

LA JUSTICE POUR RIRE; OR, WHAT IT HAS NEARLY COME TO.

    SCENE—­Interior of a Foreign Law Court.  Numerous officials in
    attendance performing their various duties in an apprehensive
    sort of way.  Audience small but determined.

Judge (nervously).  Now are we really protected from disturbance?

General in Command of Troops. I think so.  The Court House is surrounded by an Army Corps, and the Engineers find that the place has not been undermined to at least a distance of a thousand feet.

Judge (somewhat reassured).  Well, now I think we may proceed with the trial.  Admit the accused.

    [The Prisoner is bowed into the dock, and accommodated with
    a comfortably cushioned arm-chair.

Prisoner. Good morning. (To Judge.) You can resume your hat.

Judge (bowing to the Prisoner).  Accused, I am deeply honoured by your courtesy.  I trust you have been comfortable in the State apartments that have been recently supplied to you.

Prisoner (firmly).  State apartment!  Why it was a prison!  You know it, M. le Juge, and you, Gentlemen of the Jury and Witnesses. (The entire audience shudder apprehensively.) And, what is more, my friends outside know it!  They know that I was arrested and thrown into prison.  Yes, they know that, and will act accordingly.

Judge (tearfully).  I am sure none of us wished to offend you!

Members of the Bar (in a breath).  Certainly not!

Prisoner. Well, let the trial proceed.  I suppose you don’t want any evidence.  You have heard what I have said.  You know that I regret having caused inconvenience to my innocent victims.  They would forgive me for my innocent intentions.  I only wished to save everybody by blowing everybody up.