Then he thought he’d done a mighty clever thing,
Brave boys! 
But the Whale gave a fhwisk! with his ta-a-a-ail,
And then vanished from his view,
With the harpoon wot he threw,
And WILL-I-AM nearly followed that Whale,
Brave boys! 
Wos werry near to following that Whale: 

Then WILL-I-AM the Whaler looked dumfoozled,
Brave boys! 
And I sings out—­a being within ha-a-a-il—­
“I told you, noble Cap’en,
Exactly wot would happen!”
So—­he didn’t catch that Whale,
Brave boys!
No—­he never caught that Whale!

* * * * *

“NAMES AND THEIR MEANING.”—­A propos of some correspondence in the Morning Post under the above heading, we would ask, Why not make the Second Chief Commissioner for the Behring Straits Difficulty, Mr. SEALE HAYNE, M.P., with Lord SAY AND SELE to speak on the subject, and then sign the official documents?

* * * * *

MRS. R. has heard much lately about the “Sandringham Stud” and the “St. Andrews Links,” both of which, she understands, are very large.  She can’t make out how gentlemen prefer them to nice, neat little shirt-buttons!

* * * * *

[Illustration:  A BROTHER PASTELLIST.

[Messrs. GOUPIL admit Artists and Students free to Mr. WHISTLER’S Exhibition.]

Gatekeeper (stopping squalid Stranger). “NOW THEN, WHAT DO YOU WANT?”

S.S. “COME TO SEE JIMMY’S SHOW.” Gatekeeper. “ONE SHILLING, PLEASE!”

S.S. “NOT ME!  I’M A ARTIST—­CORNER O’ BAKER STREET—­CHALKS.  LE’MME THROUGH!” [Chucked!]

* * * * *

“Signs” of the Times.

    ["He was brought up to speak in the ante-stumping era.”—­Lord Rosebery
    on Lord Granville.”]

  You do well, my dear Lord, to spread GRANVILLE’S renown. 
  Knightly, loyal, and courteous to monarch or clown,
    He had pluck, and swift speech, though no mere Party Pump. 
  To our late platform level he hardly worked down;
  But the popular sign of his day was “The Crown,”
    Of ours ’tis “The Magpie and Stump.”

* * * * *

      A PROPHECY AS TO THE U.B.R.

  When the Eights are reaching Chiswick,
  One will give the other physic.

* * * * *

TWO DROMIOS.—­One day last week at Highgate, a certain or uncertain WILLIAM PEA, horsedealer, was summoned by the Police for furious driving.  The Police knew him well by sight, but not well enough, as he clearly proved what Mr. Weller Senior called “a alleybi.”  Evidently Mr. PEA has a double, and “as like as two Peas” is peculiarly applicable in this case.  For if the other one isn’t a Pea, he has been taken for one by the Pee-lers.