At the outset, I began with the former—­a merely human faith—­and its result was consequently imperfect.  I was spiritually dead, and did not know it.  Alas!  What multitudes there are who are utterly unconscious of the fact of this spiritual death, though there are few things more plainly declared and revealed in the Word of God.

The full meaning of the word death is too often misunderstood and overlooked.  There are three kinds referred to in the Word of God—­spiritual, natural, and everlasting.  The first is a separation of the soul from God; the second, that of the body from the soul; and the last, that of the unbelieving man, body and soul, from God forever.

It will be seen that there is one characteristic which is common to all three kinds—­that is, separation; and that there is no idea of finality—­death is not the end.  When the Lord God created man, we suppose that He made him not merely in the form of a body, but a man with body and soul complete; and afterwards that He breathed into this living man the Spirit, and he became a living soul.  As such, he communed with the eternal God, who is a Spirit.  In this spiritual state he could walk and converse with God in the garden of Eden.  When, however, he disobeyed the command which had been given to him, he incurred the tremendous penalty.  The Lord God had said, “In the day that you eat of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, you shall surely die.”  He did eat, and he died there and then; that is, he forfeited that ’Spirit which had quickened his soul, and thus became a dead soul; though, as we know, he remained a living man for nine hundred years before his body returned to its dust.

By his one act of disobedience, Adam opened in an instant (as an earthquake opens a deep chasm) the great gulf, the impassable gulf of separation which is fixed between us and God.  By nature, as the children of Adam, we are all on the side which is away from God; and we are become subject also to the sentence pronounced against the life of the body.  We know and understand that we are mortal, and that it is appointed unto men once to die; but we do not seem to be aware of the more important fact of the death of our souls.  Satan, who said to our first parents, “Ye shall not surely die,” employs himself now in deceiving men by saying, “Ye are not dead;” and multitudes believe him, and take it for granted that it is actually true.  Thus they go on unconcerned about this awful and stupendous reality.

CHAPTER 2

Religious Life.

With returning health and strength, I did not think of going back into the world, but rather gave myself more fully to the purpose for which I supposed that my life had been restored.  I felt a thankfulness and joy in my recovery, which confirmed me more and more in my determination to live to the glory of God.

When I was able to return to the South, I did so by easy stages till I got back to the neighbourhood of London; and there it was ordered that I should be shut up for the remainder of the winter.