I have served Literature in my time, but now Literature is in my service.

  But shall I pay for what comes dear,
    To the pale scribes who write,—­
  For news, and jokes, and stories queer? 
    Walker! my friends, not quite! 
  Since filchers may have leave to live,
    And vend their “borrowed” budget,
  For all my “notions” nix I’ll give,
    Then sell them as I trudge it.

My traffic is (news) sheets.  My father named me AUTOLYCUS, who, being as I am, littered under Mercury, was likewise a snapper-up of unconsidered trifles.  With paste and scissors I procured this caparison; and my revenue is the uninquiring public; gallows and gaol are too powerful on the highway; picking and treadmilling are terrors to burglars; but in my line of theft I sleep free from the thought of them.  A prize! a prize!...

  Jog on, jog on, the foot-pad way,
    In the modern Sikes’s style-a: 
  Punctilious fools prefer to pay;
    But I at scruples smile-a.

...  Ha, ha! what a fool Honesty is! and Trust, his sworn brother, a very simple gentleman ...  I understand the business, do it; to have an open ear, a quick eye, and a nimble hand with the shears is necessary for a (literary) cutpurse; a good nose is requisite also, to smell out the good work of other people.  I see this is the time that the unjust man doth thrive.

* * * * *

THE WELLINGTON MONUMENT.

[Illustration]

  At last!  How long ago the time
    When England’s paltry meanness killed
  Her greatest Sculptor in his prime. 
  And hid his work, now called sublime,
    In narrow space so nearly filled!

  When, using Art beyond her taste,
    Her greatest Captain’s tomb he wrought,
  That noblest effort was disgraced,—­
  It seemed to her a needless waste,
    The Budget Surplus was her thought.

  Now may she, with some sense of shame,
    Amend the errors of the past,
  Show honour to the Great Duke’s name,
  Repair the wrong to STEPHENS’ fame,
    And move the Monument at last!

* * * * *

“KNOW ALL MEN BY THESE PRESENTS.”

It is believed that the Rossendale Union of Liberal Clubs, having given a pair of slippers, a rug, and two pieces of cretonne to Mr. GLADSTONE, will also make the following presents, in due course:—­

Sir W. L-ws-n.—­Twelve dozen Tea-cosies, and ten yards of blue Ribbon.

Mr. L-b-ch-re.—­A Jester’s cap.

Sir W.V.  H-rc-rt.—­A Spencer, without arms, but emblazoned with those of the Plantagenets.

Mr. M-cl-re.—­A Hood.

Mr. McN-ll.—­A knitted Respirator, to be worn in the House.

Lord R. Ch-rch-ll.—­Twelve dozen table-cloths, twenty-four dozen Dinner-napkins, and thirty-six dozen Pudding-cloths.