MRS. WESTERN. [Shortly.] Nonsense.

JUDGE.  A fact.  Or at least one should pretend to be looking for something else.  My glasses now.  When I lose them I declare loudly I can’t find my cigar-case.  That disheartens the glasses—­they return at once.

MRS. BANKET. [Reproachfully.] Don’t be so irritating, Tom!

JUDGE.  That’s all very well, but how about me?  I was asked here to dine.  I’ve dined—­I’m not complaining about the dinner.  But now the curtain’s up—­and here am I watching half-a-dozen people looking very hard for a thing that isn’t there.

MRS. BANKET.  Tom, Tom, it’s those laughs you get in Court that make you so fond of talking.  Don’t you see how you’re vexing your sister?

MRS. WESTERN.  Oh, I’m used to Tom.  Harvey, I think you might be looking.

HARVEY.  My dear, I’ve been turning round and round in this corner like a bird in a cage.

MARTIN. [Who all this time, like the other servants, has been crawling around the different articles of furniture in the room, suddenly rises to his feet and addresses his mistress firmly but respectfully.] It’s not here, madam.

     [The other servants also rise; and stand, each in their corner.

JUDGE.  That, I imagine, is perfectly clear; and I congratulate the witness on the manner in which he has given his evidence. [He throws his cigarette into the fire and steps forward.] Now, my dear Alice—­

MRS. WESTERN. [Sitting doggedly in the chair in front of the table and proceeding to pull off her gloves. I don’t go without my bracelet.

JUDGE.  Heaven forbid that I should speak slightingly of a gift of Harvey’s—­but really it isn’t of such priceless value.

MRS. WESTERN.  That has nothing to do with it.

MRS. BANKET.  Of course not.  Oh, these men!

HARVEY. [Stepping forward.] Tom’s right.  Let’s go.  Look here, I’ll get you another.

MRS. WESTERN. [Drily.] Thanks—­I want that one.—­Smithers, and you,
William, just look again in the hall.

SMITHERS.  Yes, m’m.

MRS. WESTERN.  And then help the chauffeur—­turn out everything in the car.

SMITHERS.  Yes, m’m.

MRS. WESTERN.  Bring the rugs into the house, and shake them.

SMITHERS.  Yes, m’m. [She and WILLIAM go.

JUDGE. [Going hack to the fire.] Sumptuary laws—­that’s what we want.  If women didn’t wear bracelets, they couldn’t lose them.

MRS. WESTERN.  Martin, William is honest, isn’t he?

HARVEY. [Protesting.] Oh, hang it, Alice!

MARTIN.  Quite, madam—­excellent character—­a little flighty, but a most respectable young man.

MRS. WESTERN.  I’ve seen him reading a sporting paper.

JUDGE.  A weakness, my dear Alice, common to the best of us, I do it myself sometimes, but I’m willing to be searched.