WALTER. [Gurgling.] With his hand at my throat!  Sit there, villain, and write!

BETTY.  “I’ll deal with you presently!  Wait till I’ve finished with him!”

WALTER.  “Into the street!” At least, they do usually say “into the night!”

HECTOR. [Rubbing his eyes and panting for breath.] Oh, you pair of blackguards!  Too bad—­no, really too bad!  It was!  I fell in, I did!  Oh, Lord, oh, Lord, what a nightmare!  But it wasn’t right, really it wasn’t—­no really!  My Lord, how I floundered—­head and shoulders—­ swallowed it all!  Comes of reading that muck every day—­never stopped to think!  I didn’t!  Walter, old chap! [He holds out his hand.] Betty!  My poor Betty! [He draws her towards him.] The things I said to you!

BETTY. [Carelessly eluding the caress.] At least admit that you’re rather hard on the playwriting people!

HECTOR. [Getting up and shaking himself.] Oh, they be blowed!  Well, you have had a game with me! [He shakes himself again.] Brrrrr!  Oh, my Lord!  What I went through!

BETTY.  It was a lark! you should have seen yourself!  Your eyes starting out of your head!  You looked like a murderer!

HECTOR.  By Jove, and I felt it!  For two pins I’d have—­

BETTY.  And Mary Gillingham! That’s the funniest part!  That you could have thought he was engaged—­to her!

     [Involuntarily the smile dies away on WALTER’S face; he turns
     and stares at her; she goes on calmly.

BETTY.  When she happens to be the one girl in this world he can’t stand!

WALTER. [With a movement that he can’t control.] Betty!

BETTY. [Turning smilingly to him.] No harm in my telling Hector—­he scarcely knows her! [She swings round to HECTOR again.] Why, Walter simply loathes the poor girl!  That’s what made it so funny! [At the mere thought of it she bursts out laughing again, and goes on speaking through her laughter.] And I tell you—­if you ever hear he’s engaged to her—­why, you can believe the rest of the story too!

HECTOR. [Laughing heartily as he pats WALTER on the shoulder.] Poor old Walter!  And, d’you know, I was quite pleased at the thought of his getting married!  I was! [He turns to him.] But it’s better, old chap, for us—­we’d have missed you—­terribly! [With another pat on WALTER’S shoulder, he goes to the fire, and drops in the letter.] Mustn’t leave that lying about! [He turns.] Well, by Jove, if any one had told me....  And drinking to him, and all!

BETTY.  If you’ll fetch me that glass of Hock now, I will drink to him, Hector.  To Walter, the Bachelor!

HECTOR. [Beaming.] So we will!  Good.  I’ll get it.

     [He bustles into the dining-room.