***

“We are not war-weary but war-hardened,” said Mr. Winston Churchill in a recent address.  Germany, we are happy to state, is war-weary and will soon be Maximilian-Hardened.

***

The question as to whether war serves any useful purpose has been settled once for all.  “The War has provided many incidents for this revue,” says a stage paper of a new production.

***

A pig-sty has been erected in his rose-garden by a doctor in East Essex.  The general idea is not new, though it is more usual to plant a rose-garden round your pig-sty, as a corrective.

***

It is pointed out by an evening paper that the official prohibition of “fishing, washing and bathing” in the St. James’s Park pond is superfluous, as the pond was dried up two years ago.  In view of the exceptional severity of the weather the authorities will shortly replace the offending notice by another merely prohibiting skating.

***

Lord Robert Cecil has expressed his willingness to consider proposals for the reform of the British Consular service.  The suggestion, however, that not more than seventy-five per cent. of our Consular representatives should be natives of Germany and the countries of her Allies seems a little too drastic.

***

“Without proficiency with the gloves a man cannot make a really ideal soldier,” said Lieut.-Col.  Sinclair Thomson to the Inns of Court O.T.C.  On the other hand we still have a number of distinguished soldiers who before the War attached paramount importance to their cuffs, collars and ties.

***

The use of luminous paint is being widely advocated with the view of mitigating the dangers arising from the darkened streets.  It is pointed out that the use of luminous language has already proved of extreme value in critical situations.

***

“You must shorten sail,” said the Chairman of the Henley Tribunal to an employer who was said to have an indoor staff of thirteen servants.  As a beginning he proposes to take a reef in the butler.

***

It appears that a reduction in the sale of chocolate will adversely affect the cinema.  “All my young lady patrons,” says a manager, “require chocolate in the cinema.”  It is feared that they will have to go back to the old-fashioned plan of chewing the corner of the programme.

***

At Hull, the other day, a tram-car dashed into a grocer’s shop.  No blame attaches, we understand, to the driver, who sounded his gong three times.

* * * * *

To the German military picture department.

    [The enemy, in his turn, is exhibiting a film of the fighting on the
    Somme.  At the close a statement is thrown upon the screen to the effect
    that the Germans have “reached the appointed goal.”]