CHARIVARIA.

The birth-rate in Berlin, it appears, is considerably lower this year than last.  We can quite understand this reluctance to being born a German just now.

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The official German films of the Battle of the Somme prove beyond doubt that if it had not been for the Allies the Germans would have won this battle.

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The German military authorities have declined to introduce bathless days.  Ablution, it appears, is one of the personal habits that the Teuton does not pursue to a vicious excess.

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Some congestion of traffic is being experienced by the Midland Railway owing to the publicity given by the food-controller to the Company’s one-and-ninepenny luncheon basket.  Many people are finding it more economical to purchase a return ticket to the Midlands and lunch in the train than to go, as formerly, to one of the regular tea-shops.

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An egg four-and-a-half inches long and eight inches round has been laid by a hen at Southover, Lewes.  It is understood that a proposal by the food-controller that this standard should be adopted as the compulsory minimum for the duration of the War is meeting with some opposition from Mr. Prothero.

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“We must all be prepared to make sacrifices,” says the Berliner Tageblatt.  We understand that, acting upon this advice, several high command officers have volunteered to sacrifice the crown Prince.

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The Dublin Corporation has decided to pay full salaries from the date of their leaving work to those employees who until recently have been held under arrest for participation in the Sinn Fein rebellion.  The idea of making them a grant for Kit and Field allowances has not yet come under consideration.

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German travellers, says a news item, are forbidden to take flowers with them into Austria.  It is intended that the funeral shall be a quiet one.

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Mr. Daniels describes the shells made by American factories for the U.S.  Navy as “colossally inferior” to those submitted by a British firm.  The explanation is of course that the former are primarily designed to enforce universal peace.

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A Leicestershire farmer who applied for alien enemies to assist in farm-work was supplied with three Hungarians—­a jeweller, a hairdresser and a tailor.  His complaint is, we understand, that while he wanted his land to be well-dressed he didn’t want it overdone.

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[Illustration:  Nature’s tactless mimicry.

Curious attitude assumed by Trees in A district occupied by the Germans.]

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A widely-known nocturnal pleasure resort makes the announcement that it is still open for business, the action of the Court having only deprived it of the right to sell intoxicating liquors.  We fear it will be a case of Hamlet without the familiar spirit.