The Simple Little Thing (tickling him under the chin with her fan).  Shouldn’t call yourself names!  I’m going—­don’t get up on my account. [She goes off, laughing; a crowd collects and heartily enjoys his situation.

The M.M. (later—­very red after his release).  If I could have found a policeman, I’d have given that chair in custody!  It’s scandalous to call that coming in Fancy Dress! [Exit indignantly.

* * * * *

THE BROWN-JONES INCIDENT.

(ADAPTED FROM THE FRENCH.)

    SCENE—­A Street.  Enter BROWN and JONES.  They meet, and
    regard one another for a moment, fixedly.  Then they salute one
    another respectfully.

Brown. I have been looking for you everywhere.

Jones. Then I am delighted to have met you.

Brown. I have said of you that you are a trickster, a scoundrel, a fool, and an idiot!

Jones. Yes—­and I have regretted the saying, because it shows to me that you have misunderstood the great literary movement of the present day, in its vast and varied effort.

Brown. Of that I know nothing, for I confess I have never read your books.

Jones (reproachfully).  Yes—­and yet you accuse me of being a trickster, a scoundrel, and a fool, without knowing my works?

Brown. It was my duty.  But still I had no wish to be guilty of an outrage.

Jones. An outrage—­how an outrage?

Brown. Had I known you had been present to hear me I would not have caused you the pain of listening to me.

Jones (with admiration).  But it was the act of a brave man!  Did it not occur to you that had I been within reach of you that you too would have suffered pain?

Brown. It did not, I was unconscious of your presence.  I would have preferred to have spoken behind your back.  It is brutal to speak before any face.  It might lead to an unpleasantness.

Jones. No, it is your duty to do what you think is right.  It is also my duty to do what I think is right.  We are now face to face.  Have you anything further to say to me?

Brown (hurriedly).  You have immense gifts—­gifts which are those of genius.

Jones. I thought you would understand me better when we met.  My dear friend, I am delighted at this reconciliation.  Give me your hand.

Brown (clasping palms).  With all the pleasure in the world.  But still I owe you reparation.  How can I—­

Jones (interrupting).  Not another word, my dear friend.  That is a matter we can leave in the hands of our Solicitors.

    [Scene closes in upon the suggestion.

* * * * *

[Illustration:  A SOLILOQUY.